


Don't forget where you came from

by wishfulwriter



Category: Peaky Blinders (TV)
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-10-02
Updated: 2018-07-16
Packaged: 2018-08-19 02:45:16
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 18
Words: 25,694
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8186356
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/wishfulwriter/pseuds/wishfulwriter
Summary: Living with the Blinders is no walk in the park, especially not if you're somewhat involved with some of them.





	1. Prologue

Finn and I sat at the table in Watery Lane 6 with some paper and a pen. I was still trying to teach Finn how to write. He’s fourteen now and I’ve been teaching him for years, you’d think he would’ve gotten the hang of it by now. I think he secretly knows how to do it, but he just enjoys having me there to teach him. It’s no secret that he has a bit of a crush on me. He’s younger than me, I turned seventeen not too long ago, but it’s cute to see him get flustered when I lean in too close or I accidentally touch his hand.  
“Look at that will you. Finn’s having class again.” Arthur grins when he walked in followed by John and Tommy.  
“You’re either really stupid or you’re really enjoying your teacher’s company.” John adds. Finn sighs.  
“Alright boys leave him alone.” Tommy places his hand on Finn’s shoulder. “He’s just trying to be a good student.” He adds, a ghost of a smile on his lips. I can’t help but grin at their jokes and the frustrated look on Finn’s face makes me let out a small laugh.  
“You alright y/n?” Arthur asks as he sits down next to me. I nod. “Everything at home alright?” I sigh as I remember how my father looked when I left this morning.  
“Yeah, everything’s alright.” Tommy gives a look that says he doesn’t believe me and I quickly look away.  
“You need to tell us if you need help y/n.” He says.  
“I will.” I answer but I keep my eyes on the paper. I can just feel that Tommy doesn’t believe me and John seems a bit wary too.  
“Y/n.” John starts. “Tell us.”  
“It’s nothing really.” I shrug. “Just the usual. He got really drunk so I went to my room and locked the door. When I left this morning he was still sleeping.”  
“You got a lock on your door now then?” John asks.  
“Yeah, I put it there for her.” Finn answers for me. He surprised me with it after the last time my father hurt me.  
“Good work Finn.” Arthur pats his brothers shoulder before he turns to me.  
"He’s been getting drunk a lot lately then?” Tommy asks as he lights a cigarette.  
“Yeah.”  
“You want us to have a talk with him?” Arthur raises his eyebrows as he looks at me.  
I shake my head. “No no you’ve done too much for me already.” I always used to play with Finn when we were little kids and everything was still good. Sometimes we did little jobs for the older Shelby boys. I’m basically a part of the family, just not by blood. They look at me like a little sister, except for Finn. My mother died while my father was away at war. Her death combined with the horrible things he had seen in France made him start drinking. He’s a mean drunk. When he drinks he tends to hurt me. I managed to hide it for a while, but one time it was really bad. Polly found me that day, bruised and with several broken bones. She took me to a doctor and then back to their house. When the boys found out they had a rather rough ‘talk’ with him and he behaved for a while, but that didn’t last long.  
“We’ll always help you.” Arthur says. “You’re practically family.” He throws an arm over my shoulders and gives me a squeeze.


	2. Chapter 2

Esme and I arrive at work the day after the boys left for London. During the war I helped Polly and Ada with the books and after the war I just sort of rolled into the business. Esme and Polly talk about the boys and which horse we’re supposed to watch and then it’s quiet for a bit. Polly doesn’t look good. It’s like she hasn’t slept all night and she may have tried to hide it, but I still spotted the bottle of alcohol by her desk.  
“Polly?” Esme starts but Polly doesn’t respond. “I don’t wish to pry into your business, but you should know something. That woman is a trickster.”  
Esme goes on until Polly asks her what she knows. Esme explains that the woman’s cousin pushes the glass to make people believe it’s all real.  
“Did they say why I went there?” Polly wants to know. Esme nods and I still don’t have a clue. Polly threatens Esme with a knife, but Esme says she’ll keep her secret. “And you.” Polly says as she turns to me. “You didn’t see or hear anything.” I nod and Polly walks out.  
I look at Esme and she locks eyes with me and raises her eyebrows before she walks to the table and starts working again.  
I’m not sure what to do with what I saw this morning and I’m still contemplating about it when I walk to the boxing ring to meet Finn and Isaiah. They stand outside the building and we walk to a bar not too far away. Isaiah is the same age as me, a little older as he’s closer to turning eighteen, and should be able to go to bars on his own, but has trouble getting served when he’s alone and Finn is actually a bit young to be hanging around in bars. I still feel a bit awkward when I go out on my own even though a lot of women do so these days and I know no one in Birmingham will dare to put a hand on me. But with the boys gone and Polly in this strange state we decided that it was appropriate to go out tonight.  
Finn confidently walks to the bartender. Isaiah and I exchange an amused look and we decide to step in when Finn asks for a whiskey.  
“Two whiskeys.” Isaiah says as he stands next to Finn. “And he’ll have a mild.” I add as I point to Finn. Isaiah chuckles and he grabs the two whiskeys, that the bartender reluctantly gives to him, while I place some money on the bar. We walk to a table followed by Finn who sadly stares at his glass when we sit down.  
“Cheer up Finn, you’ll be old enough soon.” I place a hand on his shoulder and I see a small smile forming on his face again.  
“Old enough for you too?” He asks shyly while he still stares at his glass.  
Isaiah laughs at his question. “What would she want with you? Y/n needs a real man who can look after her. Someone like me.” He takes a sip from his whiskey and stares at me over the rim of his glass. I can’t help but blush at his remark. Isaiah is very handsome and we’ve been friends for a long time so I know he’s a nice guy too. He has always flirted with me, but lately he seems to be more focused on actually courting me and I honestly don’t mind. Finn however does mind.  
He scoffs and takes a large gulp from his drink. “I could take care of her just as good. I would make sure she’s safe and that she has all the stuff she wants. I’m a Shelby I can get her anything.” He proudly says.  
Isaiah glances at him before focusing on me again. “Sure you can Finn.” He smirks. “But there are other ways in which you have to take care of a lady.”  
“Isaiah!” I hiss and gently slaps his arm as I try to suppress a smile.  
“What? It’s true.” He says as he sends me a charming smile. I can’t help but smile back at him and that’s all the encouragement he needs to place his arm over the back of my chair. Finn’s eyes are on us as he angrily takes another gulp of his drink.  
My thoughts drift back to what happened this morning as we sip our drinks in a comfortable silence. Isaiah notices and decides to break the silence.  
“What’s on your mind?” He asks. I shake my head. Polly didn’t want me to tell anyone.  
“Is something wrong?” Finn asks, his annoyance replaced with concern when he sees the distant look on my face.  
“No nothing’s wrong.” I assure him. “Something strange just happened at the betting den this morning.”  
“What happened?” Isaiah asks and I feel his thumb lightly rubbing my shoulder.  
“Polly told me not to say anything.” I tell them.  
“Tell us.” Finn says. His eyes sparkling at the thought of hearing a secret. He is terrible at keeping secrets though, so I don’t feel comfortable telling him. But I have to get this of my chest, so I need to share it with someone.  
“No I shouldn’t, Polly was very clear.” I say as I remember the knife she pulled on Esme. Finn looks away, once again feeling slightly annoyed. I take this chance to give Isaiah a look that hopefully lets him know that I will tell him what happened later. He understands what I’m trying to convey and gives a slight nod before downing the rest of his whiskey.  
We leave the bar and walk to the Shelby house first. Finn wants to walk me home and I don’t want to disappoint him again, but I need to talk to Isaiah about what happened. Thankfully Isaiah steps in and insists that he will walk me home. When Finn is inside Isaiah offers me his arm and I gladly accept as I link mine through his. It’s a bit chilly so I move closer to him to stay warm and place my other hand on his arm. He doesn’t seem to mind, because I see a small smile form on his face as he pulls a cigarette from his pocket. I give him room to light it before I link my arm through his and step a little closer to his side again. He inhales and offers the cigarette to me. I take it from him and take a puff myself before handing it back.  
“What happened this morning?” He asks and I sigh before I tell him what I witnessed. “Do you have any idea what it could be about?” He asks when I’ve finished.  
I shake my head. “No, but it must mean a lot to Polly for her to react like that.”  
“Yeah.” Isaiah nods and we stop in front of my house. He hands me the cigarette again and I inhale before handing it back to him.  
“Thank you for walking me home.” I smile.  
“No problem.” He smiles back at me and turns his head to blow out some smoke. I take this opportunity to press a light kiss to his cheek. I blush when he turns his face towards me again, but this time there’s a smirk on his lips.  
“Goodnight Isaiah.” I mumble as I unlock the door.  
“Goodnight y/n.” He waits until I’m safely inside before he walks away, a slight swing in his step as he goes.  
Little does he know that inside my own house is probably the least safe place for me. Isaiah doesn’t know what my father did and sometimes still does to me. It always stayed, and probably will always stay, between me and the Shelby’s. It’s not something that I want known. I’m a bit ashamed of it still even though Polly has told me so often that I have no reason to be embarrassed. I brace myself against the door as I listen closely if I can hear him anywhere in the house. Heavy footsteps come from upstairs and my eyes widen when I realize that I won’t be able to get to my room. I contemplate what to do, but this gives my father enough time to stumble down the stairs and see me by the front door. I quickly turn around to open the door and run outside, at this point I don’t even care if Isaiah would see me run from my father. But I’m not quick enough because he grabs my hair and pulls me away from my only escape route.


	3. Chapter 3

I wake up with a pounding headache and I don’t even want to know how I look right now. After my father grabbed me last night he manhandled me until he passed out from all the alcohol in his system. When I was sure he was asleep I crawled up the stairs and managed to get to my room. I locked the door and collapsed onto my bed.  
I look at the watch that Polly got me for my last birthday and realize that I have to be at the shop in half an hour. I drag myself up and when I look in the mirror I wince at my own reflection. I have a split lip, my left cheek has turned into a slightly swollen and very purple bruise and there’s a cut on my forehead along my hairline. When I dress myself I spot several other bruises on my body and find out that the hit I took to my back was a little harder than I thought last night. It hurts when I move, so I hope Polly will have some work that only requires me to sit down.  
When I’m dressed and ready to go I tiptoe out of my room and down the small stairs. I let out a relieved sigh when I close the door behind me. I tug down my hat and keep my head down so it covers my forehead and I pull up the scarf to cover my lip and cheek as I quickly make my way to the shop. Thankfully the cold weather is a good excuse for the hat and scarf. I fumble with the keys at the door and let out another sigh when I’m inside. Polly hears it and turns around from the book she was inspecting. She furrows her eyebrows when she sees my hat and scarf and gasps when I take them off.  
“You poor thing.” She mutters. “Come with me.” She turns around and walks to the doors that separate the shop from the house. When I’m inside she closes the doors and I place my stuff onto the table.  
“Aunt Poll have you se-“ Finn stops when he sees me. “I fucking knew it!” He suddenly exclaims. “If I would have walked you home I would have made sure you were in your room before I left! Just wait till I find Isaiah I will-“  
“You won’t do anything.” Polly interrupts him. “Isaiah doesn’t know about her father and she wants to keep it that way, so you won’t do anything.” The look on her face makes it clear that the matter is settled and Finn huffs but nods his head as he pulls out a chair for me and then sits down himself.  
“Thank you.” I slightly smile at him, careful not to open the split in my lip. I sit down and rest my head in my hands.  
“The boys should be back later today.” Polly starts. “They’ll have a talk with him. In the meantime you can do some paperwork back here.”  
I give her a grateful smile; at least no one will have to see me like this today.  
“Did you see his face when John boy here pulled him across the-“ Arthur stops his enthusiastic story when he spots me at the table. “Fucking hell.” He mutters as he walks closer. I quickly look down at the books but he has already seen my face.  
John and Tommy soon follow him. John’s smile falls and the slightly happy expression disappears from Tommy’s face. They stare at me in silence.  
“So how was London?” I ask with a forced smile in an attempt to break the tension.  
“Don’t fucking start about London y/n.” John says as he sits down next to me. “What happened?”  
I shrug. “The usual, I couldn’t make it to my room fast enough.”  
“We’ll have a talk with him y/n, we’ll rough him up a bit.” Arthur promises from beside me while Tommy stand on the other side of the table and watches us.  
I scoff. “Like that’s going to help.” I mutter and write something down in one of the books in front of me.  
“There’s not much else we can do y/n.” John reasons as he places a hand on my shoulder.  
“I know.” I sigh and rub my temples in an attempt to get rid of the headache. “But it won’t help so you might as well spare yourself the trouble. He’s not going to change so why bother talking to him?” I explain. “I handled it without you before and I’ll handle it now.” I can just feel my face fall back into the stone cold expression I adapted in the first two years after the war when my father did this almost every day. It became sort of a mask that I put on every time I went outside. I will just have to avoid him as much as possible and put on my old mask on the days that I failed to do so.  
The boys look defeated, but Tommy’s expression stays the same as he lights a cigarette.  
“We will have a talk with him.” Tommy says.  
“But-“ I start, but Tommy cuts me off.  
“We’ll tell him that you’re moving in with us. That he won’t see you anymore and if he comes looking for you we’ll hurt him.”  
“Yeah, you can stay with us. He can’t hurt you here.” John seems to like the idea and Arthur’s face brightens up and he’s about to say something that I don’t doubt will be positive, but I speak first.  
“No.” I simply say as I close the books and stand up.  
“No?” Arthur asks. “What do you mean no?”  
“No I won’t stay with you.” I say while I gather the books and quickly wind my scarf around me to make my way to the door to give my finished work to Polly. When I reach for the doorknob Tommy puts his hand on the door so I can’t open it.  
“Why not?” He asks as he gives me a look that would make anyone else drop to their knees and promise him they’ll do whatever he asks, but I’m not one of those people. I’ve always had a close bond with Tommy; I tell him everything and he’s always there to listen. In turn I listen to him, because on the rare occasions that Tommy wants to get something of his chest he always seems to come to me. This also means that he’s even more protective over me than John and Arthur.  
“Because if he doesn’t have someone to look after him during the day when he’s sober he’ll probably die within a month and he’s still my father.” I explain before I remove his arm from the door and walk into the shop.  
Polly isn’t in her office so I simply place the books on her desk. When I do I hear someone come in and close the door behind me. I don’t even have to turn around to know that it’s Tommy.  
I sigh and turn to face him. “I know you mean well, but I can’t just leave him on his own.” I explain myself once more.  
“I understand.” Tommy says as he studies me.  
“Good.” I say and it’s quiet for a bit. “Is there something else?”  
“You tell me.” He says and when I furrow my eyebrows he elaborates. “Something else is on your mind.”  
He’s right, he’s almost always right. The whole thing with Polly and Esme is still fresh in my memory.  
“What is it?” He asks.  
“Not something I’m supposed to tell you.” I answer as I lean against Polly’s desk. I wince slightly as one of my bruises hits the desk. I’m pretty sure Tommy notices it, but thankfully he doesn’t say anything.  
“But you are going to tell me.” He says. It’s not even a question, I always tell Tommy everything.  
I sigh as I drop my somewhat tough façade. “Fine, but you didn’t get this from me. Polly will have my head.” He simply nods as he leans against the wall opposite me. “I think you’ll agree with me when I say that Polly has been acting a bit down lately.” I start and he nods again. “Well yesterday morning I got here and she looked like she hadn’t slept and there was an almost empty bottle of alcohol next to her desk. She saw some sort of psychic the night before.”  
“About what?”  
“I don’t know.” I look away.  
“But?” Tommy presses.  
I sigh. “But Esme does.”


	4. Chapter 4

“Mister Shelby are you ready for a visitor?” The nurse calls into the room.  
“No.” Comes Tommy’s blunt answer.  
The nurse turns to me with an apologetic look, but I mile back at her. “Tommy it’s me.” I say loud enough for him to hear.  
I hear a grunt and Tommy’s gruff voice. “She’s alright nurse.” At which the nurse steps away so I can enter the room. My own wounds have almost disappeared; all you can see now is the cut along my hairline. Tommy’s wounds are far from disappearing. He looks awful and I have to stop myself from reaching out for him; I’ll probably only hurt him more. Instead I grip my purse a little tighter; a gesture that doesn’t go unnoticed by Tommy. He sits up a little and tries to act as normal as possible. I’m not sure if he is trying to convince me or himself.  
“Can you hand me a cigarette?” He asks. I take one from the package and hand it to him before bending down and lighting it for him. “So Finn says you and Isaiah are getting a little too close for his liking.”  
Only Tommy would want to talk about something like that while he is lying half-dead in a hospital. “I know Finn likes me, but so does Isaiah.” I say, but as soon as the words have left my mouth I start doubting. I mean he flirts with me, but I’m still not sure if he sees it as anything serious or just as harmless flirting. “Or at least I think so.” I add as I stare at the wall above Tommy’s head.  
Tommy lets out a slight chuckle that results in pain, he tries to hide it but I saw him wince. “Oh he likes you alright.” I don’t respond and Tommy takes the hint that I don’t want to talk about it. Not with him, at least not now. “Finn feels left out y/n.”  
“He does?” I think about it for a while and I realize I have been spending less time with him lately. “I don’t mean to make him feel like that.”  
“I know you don’t.” Tommy says and then changes the subject. “Right. Now that you’re here, you might as well help me.”  
I furrow my eyebrows. “Help you with what?”  
“With getting out of here.” He simply states and I stare at him like he has grown an extra head. He manages to sit up and swing his legs over the edge of the bed. It takes him quite some time but he eventually stands up and shuffles to a pile of clothes in the corner.  
“Are you crazy? The nurse just told me you will have to stay another three weeks to fully recover.”  
“Nurses and doctors don’t always know best y/n, I thought you of all people would understand that.” Tommy says referring to the time I was in the hospital after a beating from my father. The doctor told me to stay for about three more days, but I wanted to get out of there as soon as possible. I begged Tommy to get me away from that miserable place. The rest of the Shelby’s wanted me to stay, but Tommy somehow understood that staying in the hospital would probably only make me feel worse and he took me home immediately. I’m brought out of my thoughts by a grunt that comes from Tommy who is trying to dress himself. I sigh and decide that I owe him this.  
“Give me that.” I mutter as I take the shirt out of his hands and help him put it on.

After helping Tommy out of the hospital and to Charlie’s, where he sent me away with a nod and a look that I have come to understand as thankful, I make my way home. When I step into my street I see my father stumble to our front door and I decide that now is not a good time to be home. Instead I turn left and make my way to the Shelby’s; I need to talk to Finn.  
When I get there I knock on the door. I have a key but I only use it to get in to the shop if I have to work. I always feel a bit like an intruder when I use it. Polly opens the door and lets me in.  
“You’ve been gone quite some time, how is Tommy?” She asks.  
“He’s not good, not good at all.” I answer as I sit down and Polly places a cup in front of me. “He got me to help him get out of the hospital.”  
Polly stops in the middle of pouring my tea. “What?”  
“He’s gone to London and you’re in charge until he gets back.” I sigh before I add the part that is the most unsettling to me. “If he doesn’t come back you’re in charge permanently.”  
Polly’s face hardens. “If he keeps living like this he’s going to get himself killed sooner rather than later. Ever since Grace he doesn’t trust anyone anymore.”  
“I know.” I look up at Polly. “I just wish there was something we could do.”  
“There’s definitely nothing you can do dear.” Polly places a hand on my shoulder. “He still trusts you and occasionally he tells me things as well. As long as you keep talking to him we won’t lose him completely.”  
“I hope so.”  
“Did he say why he was going to London?” Polly asks.  
“To break bread.” I study Polly’s face. Tommy told me she knew about the bread and about Solomons. She simply nods so I move on to why I came here in the first place. “Is Finn upstairs?”  
“Yeah he’s in his room.” She says, but her mind is clearly somewhere else.  
“Alright, I need to talk to him.” I say as I stand up and walk to the stairs leaving Polly with her thoughts.  
After making my way up the stairs I stop in front of his room and knock.  
“Finn?” I ask when there’s no response. I step back from leaning on the door when I hear him shuffle in the room. He opens the door and I smile. He just stands and stares at me. “Can I come in?” He moves away but still doesn’t say anything.  
“What are you doing here?” He asks once I’m inside and he has closed the door. I comes out a bit harsh, but I try not to show the hurt in my face. He has every right to act this way, I haven’t been a good friend lately.  
“I needed to talk to you.”  
“Why? Is Isaiah busy?”  
“I don’t know, probably not.” I shrug. “I don’t want to talk to Isaiah, Finn. I want to talk to you. I know I have been a bit absent lately, but I’ll be better I promise.” Finn’s tough look falls. He nods before he sits down on his bed and pats the spot next to him. I step a little closer, but don’t sit down yet. “So are we good?” I ask just to be sure.  
“Yeah.” He gives me a small smile. “We’re good.”  
I smile and instead of just taking a seat next to him I wrap my arms around him in a tight hug which causes him to fall back on his bed. He chuckles before he wraps his arms around me.  
“I’m sorry Finn.” I mumble as we lay on his bed.  
“It’s okay.” He whispers. “I just missed you.”  
“I’m sorry.” I mumble again.  
“I’ve been thinking.” He starts.  
I raise my head from his chest to look at him. “Oh that’s never good.” I joke.  
“Shut up.” He smiles as he squeezes me a little closer. “I’m being serious. I’ve been thinking and I get that we can’t be together, I do, but I just don’t think Isaiah is right for you. And if I can’t have you then I want you to find someone who will be good to you, someone to take care of you and who can keep you safe.” He explains. “And I don’t think Isaiah can love you like that.”  
“Finn.” I sigh as I look at him. “That’s a lot of serious thinking for someone so young. You sound far too mature.” I slightly smile and he looks away; feeling embarrassed. “But thank you and just so you know; if you were a few years older you would definitely have a chance. As for Isaiah; I don’t know how serious he is about me, but right now we’re just having fun, it’s not like we’re getting married.” I explain.  
Finn nods. “Can we talk about something else now.”


	5. Chapter 5

I’m cleaning up the house when I hear a knock at the door. My eyes immediately go to my father and my body tenses when he moves. I get ready to bolt to the door when he wakes up, but he simply grunts and continues to sleep. I let out a relieved sigh and go to the front door. When I open it I see Tommy. I step outside and close the door. I was so worried about him that I can’t stop myself from wrapping my arms around him.  
“You’re alright.” I breath out against his shoulder.  
He wraps his arms around me and squeezes me to his body. “I’m alright.”  
“Sorry.” I say as I step back, feeling a bit shy about my forward behavior.  
He shrugs it off. “I just wanted to let you know that I was back.” He says as he regains his usual stance; straight posture and hands in his pockets. I nod at him. “And I wanted to tell you I talked to Esme about Pol.”  
I cross my arms. “What did she say?” He wouldn’t have said that if he didn’t want to tell me what Esme said.  
“Polly has been having dreams about her daughter. She thinks her daughter is dead and she went to the woman to find out if she was right or not. The woman told Polly that her daughter was dead.”  
“But the woman is a fake.” I interrupt him, but I quickly regret it. I’m not usually so forward, but Polly has been like a second mother to me. “At least that’s what Esme said.” I quietly add.  
Tommy nods. “That’s why I decided to look into it. Polly had a son and a daughter who were both taken away from her. I’m going to use some of my contacts to find out where they are now.”  
“Are you going to tell her or will you wait until you have information about them?” I ask.  
“Tomorrow’s her birthday. I bought her a house, I’ll tell her when we show it to her.” He explains and I nod. “And don’t worry I won’t tell her you spilled.” He grins slightly.  
I can’t help but smirk back at him. “You better not, I know where you live Shelby.” I joke which causes him to let a smile crack through his usual serious mask. He’s about to walk away when I stop him. “Wait. Did you just say you bought her a house?”  
“Yes.” He simply says as he keeps walking.

Polly’s birthday passed and Tommy told me she gave him permission to try to find her children. I’m sat at one of the tables in the shop, and wonder if Polly’s children will turn up or not, when Finn and Isaiah come in and interrupt my thoughts.  
“Why do you two look like you’ve seen a ghost?” I ask when I see their faces.  
“Arthur killed a boy at the boxing ring.” Finn mutters and everyone within hearing distance falls quiet. As soon as the words leave his mouth I’m of my chair and, what John calls, ‘my business mind’ starts working.  
“Well go on, back to work.” I gesture to men around me and they turn back to their work. “Send Tommy to John’s office when he gets here and if you hear anything about Arthur come and tell me.” I say to one of the man that stands at the door before I turn to walk to John’s office and motion for Finn and Isaiah to follow me. Finn opens his mouth ready to explain what happened, but I hold up my hand to silence him.  
“Just wait for Tommy, alright?” I say and he nods. Isaiah and I exchange a look and I can tell it’s bad. I don’t think I can handle hearing about this without Tommy here. One of the men knocks on the door and I step outside to talk to him.  
“Arthur just got back, he’s in the living room and Tommy is on his way.”  
“Alright, thank you.” I nod before I go back into the room.  
Both boys avoid eye contact and sit on the chairs like scolded children until Tommy comes in. He glances at me before he turns to the boys.  
“Alright, what happened?” He asks and Finn finally looks up.  
“It was a fair fight.” Finn starts.  
“Yeah.” Isaiah adds. “Arthur just caught him with a good one.”  
Tommy stares at the boys before he pushes himself of the wall. “I saw the body. Don’t fucking lie to me. I saw the body, what fucking happened?” He says.  
“I’m not family.” Isaiah says as he looks away again. “I’m saying nothing.”  
Tommy’s gaze moves to Finn, who looks at me before he focusses on Tommy. “Arthur…” Finn shakes his head and tells Tommy that Arthur has lost it before, that he can’t hear anything when he’s like that; not stop, not even his own name.  
Tommy nods slightly. “Right listen to me; that’s two fucking stories. Your brother killed a boy. There were witnesses, there will be questions. Get your story straight; it was an accident. Fuck off.” Tommy gestures to the door and both boys stand up and leave.  
Finn turns to look at me, but I motion for him to go.  
“Fuck.” Tommy mutters. “We can’t have this, not with London around the corner. Can you talk to him?” He asks as he turn to me.  
“I can try, but I think you should talk to him first.” I answer and he nods.  
“I found Michael. He lives in a small village; they call him Henry Johnson now.” Tommy says. “The woman who calls herself his mother doesn’t want him to know anything about his real family, but Michael himself wasn’t so against it. At least that’s what I think I saw.” He runs a hand over his face as he leans against the wall again. “Polly’s dreams were right about Anna; she passed away.”  
I nod as I take in the information. “Did you tell her?”  
“Not yet. She will want to see him and the woman he lives with now won’t allow it.”  
“But what if Michael wants to see Polly?” I ask.  
“He’s not eighteen yet, which means it’s not his decision to make.” Tommy explains and I nod in understanding before I push myself of the wall. I’m about to walk out of the office when Tommy’s voice stops me.  
“You did good.” He says and when I give him a confused look he continues. “One of the men told me how you handled this. You did good; telling them to go back to work, to tell you if they heard anything and waiting for me before talking to the boys. John’s right about that ‘business mind’ of yours.”  
I shrug. “I really didn’t do much.”  
“You did.” Tommy’s eyes lock with mine. “You stayed calm, you made sure everything in the shop was business as usual and you waited for me. I need more people like that.” He adds the last sentence in a more hushed voice.  
“You should go talk to Arthur.” I say and slip out of the office to go back to work. I felt slightly uncomfortable hearing Tommy say those things. According to Polly he has always admired me in a way, she once told me that he has a lot of respect for the way I handle myself after everything that has happened to me, but he has never spoken to me like that before. Ever since Grace he has been coming to me to talk about things and he goes to Lizzie to fuck; I’m one of the very few people who knows that he’s doing that again. I never really believed Polly when she would tell me that Tommy silently admired me, but now it seems that she was right all along.

When I enter the Garrison the party is in full swing already. I greet John who immediately makes sure that I have a drink and then I say hello to Esme who is holding Karl. My eyes light up when I see him, if Karl is here Ada must be here too. I spot her at the bar and when I see that Polly walks away from here I make my way over. I’m stopped by Arthur before I can make it to Ada as he pulls me into a hug.  
“Look at you, you look great.” Arthur grins.  
“Thank you Arthur.” I smile and for a minute I think that the talk he had with Tommy may have actually worked, but then I look a bit more closely and I can see the same thing I see with Finn and Isaiah when they go out; he has been using Tokyo. I sigh but figure that there’s nothing I can do about it tonight so I tell Arthur that I’m going to talk to Ada for a bit.  
“Hello you.” Ada smiles as she pulls me in to a hug.  
“Hello stranger.” I smile as I pull back. “I get that you don’t want your brothers around anymore, but does that mean you have to shut me out as well?”  
“No, I’m sorry. I’ve been busy with my new job at the library and with Karl.” She explains. “I’ll write and call more and you should definitely come around sometime. I have a fancy new house now.”  
“Yeah curtesy of Tommy I hear.” I raise my eyebrows as I question her motives about taking something from her brother when she says she doesn’t want anything to do with him anymore.  
“I know I know, but our old place was terrible.”  
“I’m not judging you.” I laugh slightly. “I was just wondering about the contradiction.”  
She nods and we both watch everyone dance for a bit until John approaches us.  
“Dance with me Ada.” He grins.  
“Oh no.” Ada says.  
“Oh c’mon.”  
“No I should see to Karl. Y/n can dance with you.” She smirks as she pushes me towards John.  
I send her a glare, because she knows that I prefer to stay on the sidelines. John gives me such a hopeful look that I can’t do anything but accept his offered hand. He cheers at his small victory and spins me onto the part of the pub that is made free to dance. I dance and laugh with John until the music slows down a bit and John pulls me closer so we can talk.  
“So I hear your ‘business mind’ handled things at the shop the other day when the boys said Arthur killed that kid.” He starts.  
I sigh. “Really didn’t do much.”  
“That’s not what I heard. Tommy was talking about you like he wanted to give you both mine and Arthurs fucking jobs.” John says and can tell that he’s pretty drunk already because he can’t get all the words out as easy as he should.  
“Did he now?” I really don’t want to get into a serious discussion with John when he’s drunk.  
He chuckles. “Yeah, Tommy talked about you like-“  
“How did I talk about her John?” Tommy’s voice breaks off John’s sentence. “Would you mind if I cut in John?”  
John shakes his head and lets go of me and before I can protest I’m facing Tommy who spins me around before he pulls me back in. Usually I wouldn’t mind dancing with him, but I’ve been steering clear of him since the other day. I just don’t really know how to act after everything he said.  
“You’ve been avoiding me.” He states.  
“Not as good as Polly.” I respond. “Seems that I won’t have to try to talk to Arthur tonight.”  
“I already told him it’s for special occasions only.” Tommy assures me.  
“I hate that stuff; I’ve seen what it did to my father when he still had money to afford it. I already hate that Finn uses it, but Arthur..” I shake my head. “It’ll do him more bad than good Tommy.”  
“I’m afraid you’re right.” He sighs and turns us away so some people can pass. “Now would you mind telling me why you haven’t spoken to me.”  
I sigh and try to think of a way to explain myself. “I’ve never been good with compliments Tommy. You telling me those thing and everything John and Polly say.” I trail off. “I just don’t really know how to act.”  
“Just be yourself, that’s what has gotten you the compliments in the first place.” He stops dancing and moves us to the side. “Look y/n, you’re a strong girl. Sometimes I forget that and I try to keep you out of things, but moments like that remind me that you can handle things. When I said those thing to you, I was thinking that I might leave some more work for you to handle when I’m busy with other things. That’s why I said that I need more people like you, because I can’t trust a lot of people to properly handle that work, alright?” He asks and I nod. “Good.”  
“I’m still not a fan of the open enthusiasm though.”  
“I’ll try not to be too nice to you.” Tommy scoffs.  
“That would be great, thank you.” I smile. “Now if you’ll excuse me I’m going to have some fun.” I add as I leave Tommy to shake his head at me. The alcohol in my system gives me a bit more courage than usual and I find myself grabbing Isaiah’s hand as I drag him away from his friends and onto the dancefloor.


	6. Chapter 6

I groan quietly as I wake up. The bed doesn’t feel like mine and when I open my eyes I don’t see my own bedroom. After blinking a few times and taking in the room I realize it’s Finn’s room. Finn himself is laying on top of a blanket on the floor. My thoughts drift back to the previous night as I try to recall how I ended up here.  
I danced with Isaiah; we laughed and had a lot of fun as he alternated between spinning me around and holding me close. After a while I spotted Finn in the corner all by himself and I left Isaiah with his friends as I walked to Finn. I pulled him out of his chair and dragged him with me. He was more than willing to dance with me and when I finally got tired we sat at the bar and had a few drinks. Neither of us drank too much; my own conscience and Tommy’s watchful eye prevented us from doing anything stupid. We simply had fun and at the end of the night Finn and I decided I wouldn’t be a good idea for me to go back to my father that late, so I spend the night here.  
I carefully get out of bed and move around Finn to the door. I’m about to open the door when Tommy pulls it open.  
“Finn it’s time to get up, you’re go-“ He stops talking when he finally looks up from lighting his cigarette and sees me. His eyebrows raise and he’s about to say something when Finn interrupts him.  
“What?” He grumbles as he still lays on the floor.  
Tommy’s gaze moves to Finn and he seems pleased to see his brother slept on the floor. “Get up, you’re helping us to find a guy to feed to the coppers.” He says and then he walks away.  
Finn groans again as he sits up. “Morning.” He mumbles.  
I smile. “Good morning. I’m going home to change; I’ll stop by later alright?”  
“Alright.” He yawns as I leave his room so I can go home.

After freshening up and getting changed I make my way to the Garrison. Finn and I talk while the older Shelby’s interview several men. When they find one they come out of the private room and Arthur and John start joking around about being in the wild west as they pretend to shoot each other. Finn leaves to meet some friends and I join Tommy as we follow Arthur and John back to their house.  
“You’re dead John, go down.” Arthur says as he and John burst into the house, but John’s eyes are on the unfamiliar boy that stands next to Polly.  
Arthur turns around as well and everyone focusses on the boy. Arthur and John are trying not to laugh, because they think he’s someone Polly picked up at the party last night. But after Tommy and I exchange a look I know that this must be Polly’s son and Tommy confirms it.  
“Gentlemen, this is your cousin. Polly’s son; Michael.” He says.  
John and Arthur straighten up as Michael steps forward to shake their hands.  
“I’m Arthur, you already met me. I used to throw you out the window so John could catch you.”  
“Yeah, I used to put you in a shoebox and kick you down Watery Lane.” John adds and I can’t help but laugh slightly.  
“I bet you’re glad to be back.” Tommy smiles.  
“I don’t remember any of it. All I remember is the day they took me away.” Michael responds and then he sees me for the first time. His lips part slightly as he takes me in and I have to admit he looks quite good himself. His attention is then taken away as Polly hugs him.  
“You’re here now son, welcome to the Shelby family.” Tommy says as he places a hand on Michael’s shoulder.  
“Later on we’ll show you the ropes.” Arthur says.  
“Yeah, we’ll show you what’s what.” John adds with a nod of his head.  
Polly exchanges an urgent look with Tommy who then speaks up. “Let’s leave him be for now hey. C’mon boys.” He says and then he walks out of the room.  
“Nice suit.” Arthur says before following him. His last comment breaks the tension on Polly’s face as she lets out a laugh.  
“They seem nice.” Michael says before he turns back to me. “Are you family as well?” He asks and he almost seems disappointed by the idea.  
“No, I’m just a friend.” As soon as the words leave my mouth the smile is back on his face. “I’m y/n.” I say as I put out my hand.  
“Michael.” He smiles as he shakes my hand. He keeps holding on to my hand and looking in to my eyes until Polly coughs and the moment is gone.  
“I should get to work.” I say as I move past them and head to the shop.

“I need the numbers from yesterday in an hour and no later.” I say to one of the man when I feel a hand on my shoulder. I sigh thinking it’s one of the men who needs me to check their adding up, but I’m pleasantly surprised when I see it’s Michael.  
“Looks like you have quite the position here.” He says.  
I shrug. “Not a lot of people around here can read, write and do math. So when you can it’s pretty easy to get a good position.”  
He nods. “Polly says you’re friends with Finn, the youngest?”  
“Yeah, we used to play together when we were little and I just sort of rolled in to all this.” I vaguely gesture around me. I don’t want to go in to any specifics, because Polly didn’t seem so keen on having her son join the business.  
“Well you look right at home.” He smiles slightly. “What are they like, though? Just in everyday life.” He asks.  
“Who? The boys?” I ask and he nods. “Well to me they’re nothing but good and they do everything for their family.”  
“Anything I should be aware of in the future?” Michael asks.  
I think and decide to keep things vague. “Arthur can have a bit of a temper and John tends to do without thinking, but they both mean well.”  
“And Tommy?”  
“Tommy is..” I trail off as I think about it; what is Tommy? “Tommy is just Tommy, he does everything for the ones he cares about and compared to the others he’s very levelheaded.”  
Michael nods. “Alright, thank you.” He smiles before he puts on his cap.  
“Are you going back home?” I ask.  
“No, I just need to call my mother and tell her where I am. Polly said Tommy has a phone in the pub.” He explains.  
“You didn’t tell her you were coming here?”  
“No, she wouldn’t have allowed it.”  
I nod in understanding. “Are you staying here then?” I ask and he nods. “Well, I will see you around then I guess.” I smile at the idea of seeing more of him. He has smart eyes, he’s probably well educated, we could use someone like that in the company.  
He smiles. “You will.” He says as he tips his hat as a goodbye and walks away.

I’m checking the numbers the men gave me when Tommy opens the door to John’s office which I’m currently using.  
“We should get you your own office one of these days.” He says.  
I shrug. “I don’t mind. How was London?”  
“It was alright, Mr. Solomons is a bit more flammable then I expected, but that doesn’t change anything.”  
I nod, because I know better than to ask more. “How’s Ada? Did she move into the new house?”  
“Yeah.” He seems to tense up a bit. “She did, she seemed good.”  
“That’s good.” I say as I study him, wondering what caused him to tense up.  
“Have you spoken to Michael?” He asks and I nod. “What do you think of him?”  
“Well, I haven’t spoken to him very much so I’m not sure yet, but he seems alright.”  
“He came to the Garrison to use the phone; he doesn’t want to go back to his village.”  
“I know.” I answer, which causes Tommy to give me a curious glance so I decide to explain. “He told me.”  
“I was going to send him back anyway until he came with a story about blowing up the wishing well in the middle of his village.” Tommy says and he blows out some smoke as I inhale from my own cigarette.  
I raise my eyebrows at him. “And that made you think it would be a good idea to let him stay?”  
“That made me think he’s not as out of place here as I thought.”


	7. Chapter 7

“Where’s the boy?” Arthur asks as Polly walks into the shop to attend the meeting.  
“He’s in the backroom. I only brought him because afterwards we’re going to the museum.” She answers.  
“He wanted to come in and say hello.” John says.  
“Shut up John. There is nothing of interest for Michael in this room.” Polly snaps.  
My eyes dart to John’s face and we exchange a look; we’re both thinking the same thing. If Polly keeps Michael out of everything he will never feel as a part of the family, she’ll end up chasing him away. I understands that she wants to keep him away from the illegal things, but more and more of what we do is becoming legal and I don’t see why she can’t let him in on that.  
Tommy goes on with the meeting. He talks about one of our men being killed in prison and sorting things there out. He never looks at me when he talks about things like this, it’s like he’s afraid to see my reaction. He then goes on to ask Polly for permission to buy a thousand guineas horse. John slips up and says that they will lift Sabini at the Epson derby, which earns him a look from Tommy. Polly goes on to tell them it’s a bad idea when Michael walks in, his eyes immediately find mine and he gives me a small smile, which I return.  
“I thought I told you to lock that door.” Polly says to John.  
“He did, I used the key on the nail.” Michael explains as his eyes leave mine and he focusses on Polly. “Look, I’ve been listening. I want to go with them.”  
“You see!” Polly exclaims.  
“I love horses; I could even help.” Michael tries to reason with her.  
“Over my dead body.”  
“It’ll be alright mum.” He gives her a slight smile. “I’ve been to loads of horse auctions before with my uncle; they’re very respectable. People bring their butlers.”  
“And their posh wifes.” Arthur adds before he takes a sip from his whiskey.  
“And their mistresses.” John smirks as he gives Michael a teasing shove.  
“Let him come Polly.” Arthur says. “We’ll go there, buy a horse, come back.”  
“I’ll drop him back at the house in Sutton before it gets dark.” John tries and I smile at their efforts to make him a part of this.  
“No.” Polly shakes her head. “Fucking no.”  
Michael’s face falls and he gives me one last, disappointed, look before he leaves the room throwing some papers on the floor on his way out.  
“Alright that’s it, back to work.” Tommy speaks up and as John turns to talk to Polly I stand up to go after Michael.  
I find him standing against the side of the house and lean against the wall next to him. I light a cigarette and offer him one as well, but he declines.  
“She’ll come around.” I say. “Just give her some time.”  
“I don’t know; she seems determined to keep me out of everything.”  
“She doesn’t want to overwhelm you, you only just got here. She doesn’t want to throw you into everything so soon.”  
“She never wants me to have any part in this and you probably agree with her.” Michael finally looks at me and I tilt my head in a questioning manner. “Don’t act so innocent, I know this isn’t legal. She’s trying to protect me and you are tiptoeing around me, afraid you’ll slip up and tell me something I’m not supposed to know.”  
I nod; he really is smart, but I’m not going to let him think he holds all the cards. He just got here and he already thinks he can outdo me. “Well then I guess I’ll stop tiptoeing around you, after all you’re not quite as innocent as you lead on to be.” He furrows his eyebrows in question and I smirk slightly before I continue. “Blowing up a wishing well is far worse than what I do.”  
He smirks back at me. “Tommy tells you a lot, doesn’t he?”  
I nod. “But on to the matter of not tiptoeing around you anymore;” I start. “Are you out of your bloody mind throwing those papers to the ground like that? It took me ages to get everything set up so that the men understood the system; an illegal betting den doesn’t run itself you know?”  
He chuckles. “I’m sorry. If my mum is actually willing to let me in, I’ll help you set up your system again.”  
I smile. “So you’re calling her mum now?” I say after a moment of silence.  
“Well she is my mother.”  
“Yes, but you have been calling someone else mum for a long time.”  
He shrugs. “It makes her happy and I’m not going back to that village again so I might as well call her mum.”  
“Y/n!” Someone screams and both Michael and I turn our heads. Isaiah comes running towards us. “Y/n one of the boys got into-“ He stops talking when he sees Michael. Both boys straighten up as they look at each other for a moment until Isaiah puts out his hand. “I’m Isaiah, one of the pea-“ He says, but I give him a shove before he can finish.  
Michael glances at me. “I thought you were done tiptoeing around me.” He says before he takes Isaiah’s hand and introduces himself. “I’m Michael, Polly’s son.”  
Isaiah’s eyes widen in realization. “Well then you should come with us sometime when we go out.”  
“Don’t think Polly will agree with that.” I say. “Hey!” I exclaim when Isaiah takes the cigarette from my hand.  
He smiles and inhales as he steps closer to me. “Polly doesn’t have to know.” He smirks, clearly trying to be seductive. Michael watches us with curiosity and slight annoyance. I blush and carefully take a step back from Isaiah so I’m back against the wall. Isaiah steps closer and exhales some smoke. He starts to lean in and I think he’s about to kiss me when John comes out of the house.  
“Oi Michael-“ He starts, but he stops and raises his eyebrows when he sees that Isaiah has me cornered.  
Isaiah takes a step back and mumbles something about meeting Finn before he walks away, but not before handing me back my cigarette. John gives me a questioning look and I slightly shake my head as I throw the cigarette to the ground. John’s gaze stays on me until Michael coughs and grabs his attention.  
“Right, I talked to Poll and you can come to the auction.” He says to Michael.  
The frown on Michael’s face disappears and he smiles. “That’s great.”  
“Yeah, we’ll pick you up at around ten, you should go to your mum though.” John says before he turns to me. “And we need to have a talk.”  
I groan. “John-“ I start, but he cuts me off.  
“C’mon.” He gestures to the door. Michael and I follow him into the house. Michael goes to Polly and I follow John into his office. Tommy watches us and he and John exchange a look right before John holds his office door open for me.  
“Look John you really don’t have t-“  
“Just let me do this alright.” John interrupts me again. “Look I won’t tell you that you can’t go out with boys. I understand that you’re old enough for that now.” He looks me straight in the eye. “But you don’t have to go for the first one that pays attention to you. Just because Isaiah is here and he fancies you, doesn’t mean you have to settle for him. You deserve better y/n.”  
I cross my arms. “Finn said the same thing. Why are you all so convinced that Isaiah isn’t good enough?” I ask.  
“Because we know a side of him that you don’t get to see. He’s had a lot of different girls.” John explains as he crouches down slightly so he’s at eyelevel with me, but I already know that Isaiah isn’t exactly a virgin. “But what really makes him wrong for you is that he enjoys this, he enjoys being a blinder, he enjoys the fighting, he looks for fights y/n. He’s always trying to start one and I don’t think you deserve to live every moment in fear about what he might do next.” He says and I nod; understanding their problem with Isaiah now. “If you fall hopelessly in love with him, I won’t stop you from being with him.” He straightens up again. “But if you’re not, I don’t think he’s worth your time.”


	8. Chapter 8

“What did John want?” Tommy asks when I leave John’s office.  
I shrug. “Nothing important.”  
Tommy keeps his gaze on me. “John doesn’t just pull you into his office for nothing y/n, tell me.”  
“It’s really nothing.” I start again, but when Tommy raises his eyebrows at me I sigh in defeat. I’m very aware of the eyes that are on us so I grab Tommy’s arm and pull him with me into his own office. Once we’re inside he gestures for me to start talking. “John came outside to tell Michael he could go to the auction and he saw that Isaiah had me cornered. I think he was about to kiss me when John came out.” I explain, but I refuse to meet Tommy’s eyes. “John warned me about Isaiah. He said that I deserve someone better, but that he won’t stop me if I’m really in love.”  
We’re both silent for a while until Tommy speaks up. “John’s right. You deserve better.” I look up at Tommy and when he sees that he has all my attention he continues. “But I will stop you, I don’t care if you’re in love. He doesn’t deserve you. Being in love can blind you and I will stop you from making a mistake. You may hate me for it, but it will be for the better. He won’t treat you right.”  
I stare at him in disbelief. “You think you have a say in that?” I ask.  
“Are you in love with Isaiah?” He asks in return.  
“Don’t change the subject. You don’t control my life; I choose who I want to be with.”  
“Do you want to be with Isaiah?” He asks again.  
I furrow my eyebrows. “I don’t know, he’s just fun to have around.”  
“Then there’s no problem here.” Tommy says as he pulls out a cigarette. “You’re not in love with him, so I don’t have to stop you.”  
“Just because there’s no problem with Isaiah doesn’t mean it’s okay for you to think you get to control me like that.” I respond.  
Tommy sighs and exhales some smoke at the same time. “I want you to live a happy life. The only reason I will stop you from being with someone is because I know they will not make you happy.” He explains.  
I stare at him for a while. He means well, I know he does, but it’s just infuriating that he thinks so little of my own judgement. “Well it’s nice to know what you think of my judgement.” I say before I walk to the door. I hear Tommy let out a deep breath behind me, but he doesn’t follow me.  
On my way out of the shop I bump in to Michael and Polly. I mutter an apology and Polly studies my faces for a moment.  
“What did he do?” She asks.  
“Nothing, just the usual.” I say. “Controlling everything and everyone.”  
She nods. “He means well.”  
I huff. “Yes, but that doesn’t make it any less frustrating.”  
“I know.” She laughs. “But he cares about you like you’re family, so you’ll have to deal with it.”  
Michael watches me intently.  
“So you are going to the museum then?” I ask.  
“Yes we are.” Polly smiles, but then she frowns and curses under her breath. “Forgot my purse. I’ll be right back.”  
I watch Polly walk away and when I turn back to Michael I see that his eyes are still trained on me.  
“I really don’t want to go to the museum, but I already get to go to the auction so I decided to let her have this.” He says.  
“Good idea.” I say quietly as I get slightly shy from his intense stare.  
“Who’s controlling everything? Tommy?” He asks as he furrows his eyebrows.  
“Yeah.” I shrug.  
“Was it about the boy from earlier?” He asks. How did he know that? When I give him a questioning look he explains himself. “John wanted to talk to you about it, I just assumed that Tommy was going on about the same thing.” He shrugs.  
I nod slightly. “It was about him yeah.”  
“So are you two together then?” He tries to act nonchalant, but he can’t hide his curiosity.  
I stay quiet and just look at him for a moment. “No, we’re not.” I finally say and I can see him relax.  
“Why are John and Tommy on it then?”  
I shrug and I’m relieved to see Polly approach us with her purse. At least I don’t have to have this conversation with Michael right now.  
“We can go now.” Polly smiles. “Am I interrupting something?” She then asks as she studies me and Michael.  
“No, not at all. I should get back to work. I hope you have a great time.” I say as I break my stare with Michael to look at Polly. We say our goodbyes and I go to work.

It’s the day of the auction and I’m happy to have a moment of peace; free from Michael’s gaze and the watchful eyes of Tommy and John. Esme and I are working in the shop when I hear about Isaiah getting himself in trouble.  
“He got himself into a fight.” Finn says. “It made no sense; the other guy didn’t want any trouble and Isaiah just pounced on him.”  
“Is he alright?” I ask.  
Finn shrugs. “He looked worse than usual, but that serves him right for doing something like that again.”  
“Do you know where he went?” I ask.  
“Probably sulking by the cut again.” Finn brushes the whole situation of like it’s nothing.  
I stand up from my seat. “Esme I’m going to check on Isaiah, Polly should be here any minute she’ll help you.” I say as I grab my coat and make my way to the door.

“Isaiah?” I carefully start when I find him at his usual place along the cut.  
He turns his head at the sound of my voice and I see that Finn was right. Usually Isaiah doesn’t have more than a few bruises from a fight, but this time he bled. There’s a bit of dried blood under his nose and one of his eyes is practically closed because of a swollen bruise.  
“Y/n.” He slightly smiles. “What are you doing here then?”  
“Finn told me you got into a fight, I just wanted to see if you were alright.” I explain as I sit down next to him.  
He offers me a cigarette and lights it for me before he answers. “I’m fine, you should see the other guy.” He smirks.  
I gently shake my head; why is he like this? Why is he so destructive? “I’d rather not.”  
“Thank you.” He mutters after a while.  
I furrow my eyebrows. “For what?”  
“For coming here to see if I’m alright.” He shrugs. “You’re always there.” He adds as he turns to look at me.  
We sit there and gaze at each other for a while when Isaiah slowly starts to lean in. I don’t pull back, but I don’t lean in either. I’m not sure what to think of this. Not too long ago I probably would’ve leaned in, but now that Michael is here and after what John and Tommy said. It’s ridiculous that Michael would even show up in my mind right now. I barely know him and he probably sees me as another family member, though his lingering stares tell a different story but I can’t be sure about that. And then there’s Tommy infuriating need to control everyone and everything and then I’ve made my decision; Isaiah is a good-looking guy and he likes me, so I lean in as well.  
Isaiah pulls me closer when our lips meet and I wrap my arms around his neck. I reach one hand up to pull of his cap so I can get closer without cutting myself on the razors. When I pull back I can’t help but blush and look down. Isaiah chuckles and pulls me into his side.  
“No need to get shy around me.” He says as he rests his head on top of mine.


	9. Chapter 9

It’s been a few days since the kiss and at first I was scared how things would be between us now, but Isaiah has simply picked up where he left off; he’s flirting with me again although he’s a little more forward with it now. I avoid all eye contact with Tommy, John and Michael and only talk to them when I absolutely have to. And right now is one of the times that I really have to, simply because I don’t have anyone else.  
“Tommy!” I call out as I hurry through the shop in a panicked state. “Has anyone seen Tommy?” Apparently all the noise I’m making has caught his attention because the door to his office opens and Tommy and John walk out. They look annoyed at the interruption, but as soon as they see the look on my face they rush towards me.  
“What’s wrong?” John asks.  
“It’s my father-I-I-he-.” I stutter and I can’t get any more words out as the adrenaline that has kept me up so far starts to disappear. Apparently my body thinks it doesn’t have to handle anything anymore now that I’ve reached Tommy and John.  
John looks at me in confusion and that’s when Tommy speaks up. “Where is he?”  
I try to take deep breaths to calm myself down. “Home.” I manage to squeeze out.  
Tommy nods and takes off towards the door. John walks next to me as we follow him. He’s looking at me like I can collapse any moment and even though I feel like I can fall apart any moment now I straighten my back and pick up my pace until I’m walking next to Tommy.  
Once we arrive at my house it looks exactly the same as when I left it to go find Tommy. I walk past Tommy and John and lead them into the house to the small living room where my father is laying on the ground in a puddle of his own vomit.  
“He came home in de middle of the night, I found him like this in the morning. I placed him on his side so he won’t choke in his own vomit.” I explain. “He won’t wake up.” My voice sounds cold and distant; like it’s just some guy laying on the floor instead of my father.  
Tommy nods and crouches down next to my father while I walk to the kitchen to get some water to clean up the mess. When I come back into the room Tommy and John are hoisting my father onto a chair, but he still has his eyes closed. I walk to the spot where my father was just lying and start to clean his vomit; it’s a disgusting job but if I don’t do it no one will. I suddenly hear a lot of coughing and when I turn around I see that the sound comes from my father; Tommy clearly had enough of handling this gently and threw a bowl of water in my father’s face. My father starts to curse and scream bloody murder. His eyes land on me and as he’s about to stand up and charge towards me Tommy grabs him and shoves him back in the chair.  
“Don’t even fucking think about it.” He says. “If it wasn’t for her you would be dead by now and you still think it’s alright to hurt her.” He gets close to my father’s face and forcefully grabs him to make sure he has his attention. “If I ever see a mark on her again I will make sure you won’t be able to walk to the pub anymore.” He grits through his teeth before his pushes my father’s face away from him and walks to the door followed by John. John glances back at me and raises his eyebrows as if to ask me if I’ll be alright. I give him a nod and a small smile to reassure him that I’ll be fine and he follows Tommy out the door.  
When they’re gone my father gives me a disgusted look. “I can’t believe you let yourself in with people like that.” He spits out before he stands up and wobbles out of the room.  
I sit there looking at the door that he left through. I was upset; scared that he might die, but why? Why do I still care about him when he obviously doesn’t care about me? And why have I been pushing Tommy and John, who actually care about me, away?

I take a deep breath and knock on the door of Tommy’s office.  
“Yes?” Comes his voice through the door, he sounds businesslike but I can hear that he wasn’t expecting anyone today.  
I open the door and Tommy looks up when he hears it closing.  
“Y/n.” He states. “Everything alright?”  
“Yes, everything’s fine.” I stay in the same spot by the door. “I just wanted to say thank you.”  
He nods and I stand there looking at him for a moment. The awkward silence stretches between us for a while.  
“Alright then.” I mutter. I turn around and just after I’ve pulled the door open he stops me.  
“Y/n.” Tommy’s voice sounds different. He doesn’t have his usual cold, business tone, but he sounds different; defeated, hurt, softer somehow, so I turn around and look at him.  
“What?” I ask quietly. I’ve never had a fight with Tommy before. This isn’t even a full blown fight and we’re basically alright now that we’re talking again, but it feels horrible none the less.  
He stands up and walks towards me. “I do trust your judgement, but I know from experience that love can ruin good judgement.” He starts and he puts his hands on my shoulders. “You warned me about Grace, you said she was trouble and you were right. But I didn’t listen to you, I trusted my own judgement which was ruined because of love for her instead of trusting your clear judgement. I don’t want what happened to me to happen to you.” He finishes with a hushed voice. He sniffs and I can see his eyes getting watery. He tries to hide it; the pain Grace caused him, but it’s there, it always is. I sigh and wrap my arms around him, not caring about the fact that the door to his office is still open and everyone can see us standing there. He wraps his arms around me as well and I can feel him pressing a kiss to the top of my head before he pulls back. “Is everything good between us?” He asks as he holds me by my shoulders again. His eyes are back to normal and so is his voice.  
I nod. “We’re good.”  
Walking out of Tommy’s office my eyes search for John. I spot him by the blackboard and make my way over. As soon as he spots me he stops what he’s doing and turns to me.  
“Everything alright at home?” He asks; worry etched on his face.  
“It’s fine.” I say and he nods. “John.” I start and he steps down from the platform so he can stand in front of me. “Thank you for looking out for me, not just with my father, but with everything.” I say and I hope he understands that our talk about Isaiah is no longer an issue.  
He gets the meaning behind my words and a half smirk makes its way onto his face. “It’s not a problem y/n.” He says as he pulls me into his chest.  
I hug him back and place my head on his chest. When I do I make eye contact with Michael on the other side of the room. He lifts his eyebrows and there’s a ghost of a smile on his lips. His eyes burn holes in my body and I blush slightly. This causes a smirk to appear on his face before he pushes himself of the wall and makes his way to Tommy’s office.


	10. Chapter 10

“Michael wants to work for us.” Tommy says as soon as he closes the door to Arthur’s office which I’m using to work in today. “He just came into my office and said he saw the add in the paper.”  
“And what did you say?” I ask as I put down the pages with numbers I was checking.  
“I said the position was filled, but he kept pushing.” He runs his hands over his face. “Now I’ll have to talk to Pol.”  
“He definitely has his mind set on wanting to join the business.” I comment.  
“Yeah, he says he wants to help; wants to be able to be proud of this family.”  
“I think he just likes it.” Tommy gives me a questioning look. “The business; I think he’s drawn to it somehow.”  
“Maybe, but as much I hate to admit it I need more men like him; men that have a good head on their shoulders.” Tommy defends his decision; which isn’t necessary at all.  
“I’m not saying you shouldn’t hire him. Just be careful, before he gets in too deep.” I explain.  
“I will.” He nods before he makes his way out of the office.  
I return back to work, but it doesn’t last very long as I hear a knock on the door.  
“Yes?” I wonder who would bother me now. Most of the men have gone home; I’m just checking the numbers they’ve written down today.  
“Mind if I come in?” Michael asks through the door.  
“Sure.” What is he doing here?  
“Sorry to bother you, but I just saw Tommy leave your office.” He starts.  
“It’s not officially my office.” I say just because I don’t really know what else to say.  
“You use it more often than Arthur.” He shrugs.  
I nod slightly. “What can I do for you?” I decide to ask.  
“Well I assume you heard about me wanting a job here.” He starts and I nod. “When Tommy left your office he gave a strange look, so I was just wondering what you said to him.”  
“What makes you think I said anything to him?”  
“He looked quite interested in my job application before, but after he talked to you he seemed a bit more cautious.” He explains as he walks towards the desk. “So I was wondering if you said anything that could have made him change his mind.” He slightly leans on the desk now and I look up at him.  
For a moment we just stare at each other and I find myself leaning forward slightly as he seems to get closer and closer to me too. We’re only a few inches away from each other when the door opens and Isaiah wanders in. Michael and I immediately lean back and he even takes a step away from the desk. Isaiah gives my Michael a curious glance, but quickly focusses his attention on me.  
“Fancy going out?” He grins at me.  
“Uhm yeah, sure.” I say as I’m still a bit dazed from the moment with Michael earlier. I snap myself out of it and realize I’m sitting at a desk covered in paperwork. “But I can’t. I need to check all of this first.”  
“Oh c’mon.” Isaiah urges. “Everyone’s gone home already, you need to take some time off every now and then you know?”  
“I’m sorry Isaiah, but I have to finish this.” I give him an apologetic look.  
“I can help you.” Michael speaks up. “You’ll be done faster and then we can all go out.” He suggests.  
I lock eyes with him. “You really don’t have to do that.” I say, but he has already seated himself in the chair on the other side of the desk.  
“Just tell me what I have to do?” Michael says and his eyes don’t leave mine as he intently gazes at me. It seems like he’s not just talking about the paperwork.  
“Are you sure you can handle it?” I ask in return and I hope he understands that I’m not just talking about the paperwork either.  
He nods. “I’m sure.”   
I nod as well and look at him for a while before I hand him half of the paperwork.

Isaiah immediately seems to be in his element when we enter the pub. I personally don’t really like this particular one; it’s officially outside of the area that’s controlled by the Peaky Blinders. They know about them here, but they’re not under their ‘protection’. Michael seems to notice my discomfort and raises his eyebrows in question.  
“Alright, I’ll go get us some drinks.” Isaiah says and he walks to the bar.  
Michael lightly places his hand on the small of my back and leads me to a table at the side. “Are you alright?” He asks.  
“Yes, I’m fine.” I blatantly lie as I look around the room to figure out who might cause some trouble.  
“You’re not fine.” Michael states. “What’s wrong?”  
I sigh and turn to look at him. “Nothing yet.” I continue when he furrows his eyebrows. “This pub is outside of the uhm the Blinders territory and I’m just a bit worried that someone might cause us some problems when they find out we’re Blinders.” I explain.  
He nods and leans back in his chair. He’s about to say something when he’s interrupted by Isaiah. “Here you go love.” He says as he places a glass of whiskey in front of me. He places another glass in front of Michael and they nod at each other as form of acknowledgement.  
“Thank you.” I give Isaiah a small smile.  
“No problem.” He smirks as he places his arm on the back of chair; his fingers lazily tracing over my shoulder.  
Michael clears his throat and it effectively gets Isaiah to tear his eyes away from me. “So I guess you two are quite close then?” Michael asks; he tries to make it look nonchalant as he takes a sip from his drink right after, but I can tell he’s more than just a bit curious.  
“You could say that.” Isaiah smirks again.  
“We’ve known each other pretty much our whole life’s.” I say. “It’s like with me and Finn.” I carefully watch Michael’s expression when I say these thing. He seems to relax a bit.  
Isaiah chuckles. “I think it’s pretty different than you and Finn.”  
“How different?” Michael asks; his body tensing up again.  
“Well there has been some kissing.” Isaiah says with a smug grin on his face.  
Michael looks down and I feel the need to explain that a kiss doesn’t mean anything. “It happened once and nothing happened since.” I explain and I don’t know why, but I hope that Michael understands that Isaiah and I aren’t together. Alright; maybe I do know why.  
“Do you want something to happen then?” Isaiah turns back to me and gently urges me to look at him. “Cause if you want more all you have to do is ask.” He raises his eyebrows and though I’m looking at Isaiah I can feel Michael’s eyes burn holes in the side of my face.  
I suddenly feel very cornered and my hands start to get clammy as the heavy weight of having to make a choice between the two of them crashes down on me.  
“I don’t know if I do.” I mutter as an answer to Isaiah’s last question while I stand up and make my way out of the pub.


	11. Chapter 11

I’m almost home when I hear his voice.  
“Y/n?” Michael says as he catches up to me.  
“Michael.” I mutter. “Why did you follow me?”  
He shrugs. “You seemed upset and I couldn’t just let you leave on your own. Are you alright?”  
“Yes, yes I’m fine.” I answer as I continue to look down.  
“You’re not.” Michael says as he lightly takes hold of my arm to stop me from walking. He lifts my face with his other hand so I will look at him.  
I sigh. “I’m just being silly.” I shake my head and he drops his hands back to his sides.  
“You feel pressured.” He starts. “By me and Isaiah.”  
I look up at him and after a few moments of silence I nod.  
“You shouldn’t feel pressured, definitely not by me. I understand that you and Isaiah have a history and that I just came into your life. I don’t expect you to drop someone you’ve known for that long for someone who just walked through the door.” He assures me. “But I do like you. A lot. And maybe someday in the future, when I’m no longer the guy that just walked through the door, we can be more than just friends.”  
I blush slightly and look to the side to avoid his intense gaze, but when I do my eyes catch my father’s figure as he’s making his way over to us.  
“No no no no.” I mutter and everything inside me is telling me to run, but Michael’s words are still echoing in my head and I just stand there a bit dazed until Michael’s voice snaps me out of it.  
“What’s wrong?” He looks worried.  
“Uhm, my father is coming our way.” I say and then I realize that he has no idea what my dad does to me and I’m not sure if I want to tell him.  
“Oh that’s not a problem right? You live near here; we can just tell him that I walked you home.” Michael casually answers, but he furrows his eyebrows when he sees the look on my face. “Y/n tell me what’s wrong.” He lowers his voice and gives me a look that reminds me of one of Tommy’s.  
“My father hits me.” I choke out and as soon as the words leave my mouth Michael straightens up; his face becomes expressionless and his usually slightly hunched shoulders now actually look quite broad.  
“Is it the one with the striped shirt?” He asks and I quickly glance in my father’s direction and nod. I’m just happy that he’s so drunk he can’t walk any faster than this. “Come on.” Michael says as he grabs my hand and pulls me with him in the direction of the Shelby’s house while I can hear my father yelling behind us.

Michael somehow manages to sneak me into the house without anyone noticing and takes me to his room, which I remember as John’s old room, where he takes a seat on his bed. I awkwardly stand by the door and after a while he looks up at me with raised eyebrows and I know I need to explain the situation to him. So I let out a deep sigh and sit down next to him. I tell him everything; about my mom dying, about my dad going to war, about my dad’s drinking, about hiding it from everyone for a long time and about the Shelby’s helping me as much as they can. When I’m done we just sit next to each other in silence for a while.  
“Thank you for telling me.” He says after a while and all I can do is nod. “When I was living in the orphanage I was abused by the priest.” He adds without looking at me.  
I quietly gasp and turn my head to look at him, but he’s still looking straight ahead. “Michael I –uh – I don’t what to say, I’m so sorry.” I say as I place a hand on his back to offer some sort of comfort.  
“No one knows, because it would change the way they look at me.” He says and then he turns to face me. “But after what you told me I thought I could trust you with it.”  
“You can.” I whisper as I place a hand on his cheek. We stare at each other for a moment and it feels good to be here with him; to be this close to him. Then Isaiah pops into my mind and I go to pull my hand away, but Michael stops me.  
“I told you I’m not going to pressure you in any way, but don’t let Isaiah pressure you either. Just do what you want to do.” He says as he loosens his grip on my hand and gives me the opportunity to pull away again, but I don’t. He’s right; I shouldn’t let Isaiah have a hold over me when we’re not even together. If I figure out that I have more feelings for Michael, then it’s really none of Isaiah’s business right?  
“Do you mind if I stay here tonight?” I ask. “I don’t want to go back home if my father’s in such a state.” I explain.  
Michael nods. “Take the bed, I’ll sleep on the floor.”  
I try to protest, but Michael insists so I end up spending the night in his bed.

I wake up to Michael shuffling around the room. He’s buttoning up his shirt as I sit up in the bed.  
“Good morning.” I say.  
He turns to me as he does his last button up. “Good morning.” He smiles. “I’m going downstairs, you can freshen up and then I’ll see downstairs for breakfast in a bit.” He says as he shrugs his jacket on.  
I nod. “Michael.” I call out when he’s about to leave the room. He turns around to look at me. “Thank you.” I say and I hope he understands that it’s not just about letting me stay here for tonight.  
He smiles and walks out the door. I quickly get up and get ready. When I make my way down the stairs I hear Isaiah and Michael talking. I can see Tommy standing against the wall as he listens to their conversation.  
“Y/n is fine so you can go now.” Michael says.  
“No, she disappeared last night and I went looking for her. So I want to see her and ask her what the hell she was thinking.” Isaiah snaps.  
“You went looking for her?” Michael scoffs. “Was that before or after you started making out with that blonde at the pub. Yes; I saw that. You just grabbed the first girl you saw when she left while I stood up to go look for her.”  
I let out a sigh which goes unnoticed by the boys, but not by Tommy. He catches my eyes and raises his eyebrows at me and I shake my head in return.  
“So I got with another girl; a man has needs and if y/n won’t fulfill them I can find someone else who will.” Isaiah says and I can’t believe what I’m hearing; does he not care about me at all? “Where the hell did she even spend the night, because I stopped by her house this morning and her neighbor told me she never came home.”  
I take this as my chance to emerge and to strike back at Isaiah. “I spent the night with Michael.” I say as I walk down the stairs completely and stop next to Michael; opposite Isaiah.  
He looks at me in disbelief. “You spent the night with him?”  
“Yes and after everything you just said it looks like I’ll be spending even more time with him.” I respond. My posture straight and my face emotionless as I try not to show how much he has hurt me.  
Isaiah takes a step forward, but when he does Michael immediately steps in front of me and Tommy pushes himself of the wall so he’s ready to take action when needed. So Isaiah retreats and gives me one final unreadable look before he turns around and leaves.  
As soon as he’s gone my straight posture is gone and I drop myself into a chair with my head in my hands. Michael places a hand on my shoulder and he and Tommy take a seat as well.  
“So, you spent the night with Michael then?” Tommy casually asks, but there’s a dark undertone to his voice.  
I shake my head. “Not like that, I just stayed here to avoid my father. Michael slept on the floor.” I explain and Tommy expression softens.  
“So you told him about your father.” Tommy states and I nod. “That’s quite a big step especially considering that you’ve never told Isaiah.”  
“Isaiah doesn’t know?” Michael asks.  
“No one knows.” I answer. “Just this family.”  
Michael nods and squeezes my arm slightly before he stands up to get us some tea.


	12. Chapter 12

“Finn you got two choices; mild or mild?” John asks.  
Finn shakes his head with a grin on his face. “Mild.”  
“Here you go.” John hands him his drink and Arthur and I share an amused look.

“Here he is, look.” Arthur gets up from his seat when Michael and Polly come in as do Tommy and the rest of us.  
There’s a lot of cheering and Michael smiles around the room.  
“Give him a drink John boy.” Arthur grins. “And after that we’re gonna find you a lady of the night.”  
“Arthur!” Polly scolds and we all laugh.  
“Michael.” Tommy says as he hands Michael a black box.  
“What’s that?” He asks. Inside is a nice pocket watch.  
“So you’re never late for work.” Tommy says and Michael looks from Tommy to Polly a smile growing on his face.  
“Welcome to the business Michael.” John says.  
“Welcome.” Arthur follows.  
Michael hugs Polly and thanks her and then the boys are all over him; trying to get him drunk, but Tommy stops them.  
“A toast.” He says as he raises his glass. “To Michael.”  
We all follow him and Michael eyes lock on mine before we both take a sip. 

“Well happy birthday.” I say to Michael as I sit down with him. He’s been busy all night and now is the first chance I really get to talk to him.  
“Thank you.” He smiles.  
“Are you happy you got the job?” I ask before I swallow the last of my drink.  
“Yeah.” He nods; a smile on his lips. “It means more time with you, so I have nothing to complain about.” He grins at me.  
“I’d be very careful with what you say mister Gray; I’m practically your boss now.” I joke back.  
He chuckles. “Sorry.” He holds his hands up in surrender. I laugh as well and we look at each other for a while.  
“Would you like to dance?” Michael asks; his voice soft as he stands up and offers me his hand. I nod and take his hand so he can lead me to the dancefloor. We joke and laugh until a slower song starts to play and Michael pulls me closer. We slowly move around the floor and it’s like we are naturally drawn to each other. He rests his forehead on mine and I can’t help but blush as he gazes at me. His eyes flicker to my lips and back up to my eyes.  
“Michael?” I breath out and he hums in response. “This isn’t how coworkers act.”  
“I know.” He closes his eyes and is about to pull away, but I hold on to him. He opens his eyes again and gives me a questioning look; as to ask for permission. I nod and he leans forward to capture my lips. The kiss is completely different from the one I shared with Isaiah. It’s slower, Michael is more gentle, it’s less heated and there’s definitely no grabbing each other or running my hands through his hair, but it fills me with warmth and my lips slightly tingle when we pull away. I blush a deep red and look away from him as he starts to dance again.  
“Just let me know if I cross any lines, boss.” Michael whispers in my ear and I giggle as I try to hide my face from him, but I can’t help but wonder about Isaiah. 

Michael and I are doing some paperwork in Arthur’s office, since that’s the one that’s empty most of the time, when Tommy opens the door and walks in.  
“How’s the new job?” He asks Michael.  
“It’s good, thank you for talking to mum.” Michael answers.  
Tommy nods in acknowledgement before he turns to me. “How is he doing?”  
“Surprisingly good.” I answer honestly. “He knows his numbers and he learns fast.”  
Tommy nods again. “Michael do you mind if I have a word with y/n?” He asks.  
He shakes his head and stands up. “I’ll get these to Lizzie so she can post them.” He says to me as he grabs a stack of envelopes and then he’s out the door.  
“Is he really doing good?” Tommy asks after a moment of silence.  
“Yes, like I said he learns fast. We’ve done twice the amount of work I would usually do on my own.”  
“That’s good.” Tommy mutters. “You’re not letting him see the bad numbers right?” He raises an eyebrow.  
“No.” I shake my head. “I do those after he goes home.”  
Tommy gives me a look. “You know that you don’t have to stay so late y/n.”  
“I know.” I shrug. “But it’s not like I have something to go home to.”  
“You might get something to go home to in the future.” Tommy says as he lights a cigarette.  
“What do you mean?” I furrow my eyebrows.  
“I saw you and Michael on his birthday.” He explains. “I saw you kiss.”  
I sigh. “Look if this is going to be another speech like you gave me with Isaiah, I really don’t want to hear it.”  
“This is different; Michael is different.” Tommy puffs out some smoke. “You would be good together.” He casually remarks.  
I stare at Tommy in disbelief; he’s basically giving me and Michael his blessing. “Well it was just one kiss.” I say as I focus back on the papers in front of me. I hear Tommy’s footsteps going to the door and then I remember that there was something I had to ask him. “Tommy where’s Arthur? I haven’t seen him in a few days.”  
“He’s in London.” Tommy says as opens the door. “Running the Eden club.” He adds before he walks away and Michael comes back in.  
“Did you hear that?” I ask him. “He has Arthur running the Eden club.” I state in disbelief.  
“Yeah, what’s wrong with that?” Michael gives me a questioning look and then I realize that he has only seen the good side of Arthur.  
“Nothing.” I shake my head before I pick the papers back up.  
“Y/n.” Michael states and I glance up at him. “You wouldn’t tiptoe around me anymore.”  
I sigh. “Fine, but everything I tell you is said in confidence.” I point a finger at him.  
“I won’t tell anyone.” He says and the look in his eyes tells me he means it.  
“Arthur is not a very stable person.” I start.  
Michael chuckles slightly. “I know; he went mad on that guy at the auction.”  
I give him a shocked look. “What?” I ask and he tells me what happened when they were leaving the auction.  
“Tommy didn’t say anything to me about that.” I mutter.  
“Should he have told you?” Michael asks.  
I shake my head. “He tells me basically everything. Otherwise I wouldn’t know half of what’s going on in this company.”  
“How did they even become owners of the Eden club?” Michael wonders out loud as he arranges some of the papers in front of him.  
“That is not something you should ask anyone around here.” I warn him.  
He locks eyes with me. “I’m not asking just anyone; I’m asking you. Everything that is said between us is said in confidence remember?”  
I nod and tell him that they did one over on Sabini to get hold of the club. Michael nods in understanding and we sit and stare at each other for a moment until Michael glances at the clock.  
“I have to go; mum is waiting for me with dinner.” He says as he stands up. “I’m guessing you’re staying here to finish the paperwork I’m not allowed to see?” He raises his eyebrows and smirks down at me.  
“Someone has to do it.” I shrug as I smile up at him. He chuckles and leans down to press a quick kiss to the corner of my mouth. I can see him blush slightly when he pulls away and I can feel my own cheeks heating up as well.  
“I’ll see you tomorrow.” He says as he shrugs on his jacket and walks to the door.


	13. Chapter 13

“Let’s go and get a drink.” Isaiah suggests as he sits on the other side of Michael’s desk. Yes, that’s right; we have our own desks now.  
“No, I’m alright.” Michael says as he glances at me before focusing back on the papers in front of him.  
“C’mon, it’s pay-day.” Isaiah pushes. “Everyone has a drink on pay-day.”  
“Not me.” Michael says as he continues to write. I watch the two of them; things between them have been quite cold for obvious reasons, so I’m surprised to see Isaiah reaching out like this.  
“You think your mum don’t have a drink on pay-day?” Isaiah challenges. “You think the Lord Almighty don’t have a drink on pay-day?” He chuckles, but Michael doesn’t respond. “Man, it’s on fire out there. Women from the BSA offices, honest. They go out on their own without their men these days, in two’s and three’s.” He leans back in his seat, but seems to impatient to wait for a response and quickly leans forward again. “Mickey; they go out in two’s and three’s and buy their own drinks.” Michael looks at Isaiah and then at me again. I simply shrug my shoulders; it’s his choice. “The Marquis; that’s where all the BSA secretaries go.” Isaiah sighs when Michael still doesn’t react. “Look, they won’t serve a black man without a Shelby by his side.”  
I see a hint of a smile on the corner of Michael’s lips as he leans back in his chair. “So you’re using me?”  
“Yeah.” Isaiah smirks. “C’mon.”  
Michael smiles slightly before he looks up at me again. “Are you up for it?” He asks.  
“Sure, why not?” I give him a small smile in return; I’m just happy they’re talking again.  
Michael nods and puts his pen down. “I’ll get our coats.” He announces as he stands up.  
“You like him cause he’s different.” Isaiah says when Michael leaves the room. He stands up and makes his way to me. “But soon enough you’ll see that he’s just like me.” He adds as he leans over my desk; his face is inches away from mine as Michael comes back in. Isaiah leans back as Michael looks him down before he holds out my coat for me.

“Three pints of dark mild, please.” Michael says as he steps up to the bar after accepting a cigarette from Isaiah; I’ve never seen him smoke before.  
“Fuck that; we’re Peaky-boys.” Isaiah says. “Two whiskeys.” He orders. “And a dark mild.” He adds as he looks at me.  
“Since when do I drink dark mild?” I raise my eyebrows at Isaiah. “Three whiskeys.” I smile at the bartender as I place my hands on the bar. Isaiah and I laugh slightly as we see Michael hesitantly take a drag of his cigarette.  
“You get used to it.” Isaiah assures him. “And then you can’t stop.”  
A guy comes up to us and starts to taunt Isaiah; saying he doesn’t want to drink in a pub with a black man. Michael tries to get Isaiah to leave, but he won’t listen and before I fully know what’s going on they’re fighting. Isaiah can take care of himself so I turn to look at Michael only to see that he’s apparently very capable of handling himself as well; he fights several men off. I’m just standing there when I suddenly get hit against the side of my head. I have to blink a few times before I turn my head to look at the person only to receive a blow in my stomach.  
“Paddy! The white kid is a Peaky Blinder; he’s Polly Shelby’s son!” The bartender yells and suddenly the bar falls quiet. “He’s Polly Shelby’s son; are you fucking suicidal?” The bartender goes on. The man tries to apologize and Michael and Isaiah tell him to leave, which he luckily does.  
“We ordered some drinks.” Michael says as he turns back to the bartender. “And we’re going to drink them.” He states. The bartender gives them their drinks and they quickly swallow them.  
Isaiah smirks as he turns to me. “I told you; he likes this just as much as I do.” He says, but the smirk falls from his face. “Fuck, did they get you?” He says as he rushes to my side. This catches Michael’s attention as well as he crouches down in front of me.  
“Are you alright?” Michael asks as he places a hand on my cheek to get me to look at him. When I lift my face to look at Michael he clenches his jaw and brushes his fingers over my temple; when he pulls his hand away I can see blood on his fingers, but I’m not sure if it’s mine or from one of the men.  
I push myself up and slip my old mask of indifference back on my face. “I’m fine, it’s nothing I can’t handle.” I say and Isaiah doesn’t know what I mean by it, but Michael gets the message loud and clear; he just put me in a position I thought he would keep me away from and I can tell by the look of guilt on his face that the reality of the matter seems to get through to him now. I straighten my back and down the whiskey that the bartender just put down in front of me. Isaiah has already moved on from me possibly being hurt and starts to talk to Michael about how well he hit the guy. Michael’s eyes stay on me for a moment longer until Isaiah manages to catch his attention.

After I finished my drink in the Marquis last night I went back home while Michael and Isaiah went to the Garrison; I had enough for one night. When I got home my father was already asleep on the floor in the main room and I let out a relieved sigh when I stepped into my room. When I looked in the mirror I could see that it was indeed my blood that Michael wiped form my face, as there was a cut along my hairline at the side of my face. For once I’m happy that’s it’s a Saturday and that I don’t have to go to work; I’m not sure if I want to hear what else happened last night. I get ready and glance at my father once before I step outside and make my way to the Garrison where I’m supposed to meet Finn. I spend a nice morning with Finn until he says something that causes the hairs on the back of my neck to stand.  
“Did you hear about the Marquis?” He casually remarks as he takes a bite from his lunch.  
“No.” I say as I look at him. “What happened?”  
“John and Arthur stopped by.” He mumbled with his mouth full of food. “They burned the whole place down.” He adds after he swallowed.  
“Oh.” I say as I stare down at my plate; I’m not sure how to feel about this. They were in the wrong for not wanting to serve Isaiah just because he’s black, but does that mean they had to burn the whole place down?  
“Y/n.” Tommy’s voice suddenly sounds through the room. “Can I talk to you for a moment?”  
I glance at Finn who merely shrugs. “Sure.” I answer as I stand up and follow him into another room. “How’s Ada?” I ask as Tommy closes the door.  
“She’s good.” He nods. “She’s renting one of the rooms to a gay man; without letting him actually pay rent.”  
“Wow.” I raise my eyebrows. “And you’re fine with that?”  
“Yes.” He looks at me and raises his eyebrows as well. “Should I not be?”  
“I think it’s fine, I just didn’t expect you to take it so lightly.” I shrug as I sit down since I’m a bit sore from last night.  
“Are you alright?” Tommy asks as he watches me.  
“I’m fine.” I say, but I make the mistake of looking up at him and his eyes send a clear message; don’t lie to me. “Got caught in the middle of a bar-fight last night, but it’s nothing serious.” I try to play it off as I look down.  
“A bar-fight?” He sounds surprised as I nod. “Where?” He suddenly sounds like he means business.  
“The Marquis, but John and Arthur already went down there.” I sigh.  
“What were you doing there?” Tommy presses.  
“Isaiah wanted to go there.” I answer as I lean back in the chair.  
“You’re still going out with Isaiah?” He doesn’t sound very pleased. “I thought that was over.”  
“Michael was there too.” I admit.  
Tommy sighs. “Alright then.” He mutters as I hear him lighting a cigarette.  
“What did you want to talk about?” I ask as I raise my head to look at him.  
“Right.” He says as he pushes himself of the wall and takes a seat as well. “I am getting my affairs in order in the case of my death and I wanted to let you know that I won’t be leaving you empty-handed.”


	14. Chapter 14

I’m in the betting shop with Polly, Finn, John and Esme while we wait for Tommy. No one dares to say a word and I’m somewhat relieved when Tommy walks in.

“John?” Tommy asks as he stands in front of the table and looks at his brother.

“Coppers have lifted ten of our men in Camden Town, the rest of them on the run.” John tells him.

“Tom, they’ve taken Michael.” Finn tries to bargain, but Tommy tells him that business comes first. Polly tries to bring up Michaels arrest, but Tommy snaps and also tells her that business comes first. He asks John what else happened and John tells him that they took all or whiskey, our vans, put their own locks on the warehouse and that the Eden club and other clubs and pubs have been raided by the police and are back in the hands of Solomons and Sabini. Another problem is that the Black Country boys believe that Arthur killed Billy, because that’s what the police says, which means we can forget any free passes for our whiskey-boats.

“I don’t give a fuck about whiskey, I don’t give a fuck about Billy Kitchen.” Polly states as she steps further into the room. “I want my son out of prison, now.” She demands. Things escalate when Esme tries the say something and Polly goes on a rant about meetings only being for family and asking Tommy if he’s forgotten about the importance of family until Tommy silences her. Esme says the Lee’s can get us men, but Polly is not interested in anything that has to do with the business. Tommy accepts the offer of the Lee’s, which pushes Polly over the edge.

“If Michael ever gets out of prison, I am taking him away from this family, for good.” She tells Tommy. “This life is bad.” She adds as she takes Finn’s arm to lead him out of the room. “This life is all bad.” Polly finishes and she tries to take me with her as well, but I pull out of her grasp and stand next to Esme. “I thought you cared about him.” Polly glares at me and I have to turn my gaze to the floor until I know she’s left the room.

Esme offers to talk to Queen Mary at the Black Patch for soldiers and Tommy accepts. She then tells John to get the car and I lean against the wall as I carefully watch what unfolds between Tommy and Esme, when John has left the room. She talks about riding away, about his gypsy half, about France being a new home for ‘us’ and getting lost there. Tommy is silent for a moment until he leans forward.

“I’ve been to France, Esme.” He starts as he lowers his hands to the table. “So has John. Now get your coat and go with your husband.” He states, but when Esme doesn’t move Tommy lifts his hand to grab a hold of her chin. “If you ever talk about getting lost again; I’ll cut you” Tommy pauses as he gives Esme one of his looks. “from this family.” He finishes as he lets her go.

Esme stays silent and looks around the room. “What family?” She asks before she finally walks away and I’m able to breathe again. The soft sigh that leaves my lips alerts Tommy to my presence in the room.

“Why didn’t you go with Polly?” He asks me as he gestures to the chair that John was previously sitting in.

“Because I think there’s more to this.” I respond as I walk to the table and sit down across from Tommy. “It’s all very sudden; the raids, both arrests on the same night. I don’t believe in coincidences, Tommy, and I think you know more than you’re telling everyone.” I state as I fold my arms on the table.

A faint smile forms on Tommy’s face. “You’re too smart for your own good, y/n.” He says before he lets out a sigh and runs his hands over his face. “It was Campbell; he set it all in motion.”

“That Irish copper?” I furrow my eyebrows as I stare at Tommy. “Why?”

“He’s now a secret agent in service of the Crown and he wants me to do a job for him and he sees this as his leverage.” Tommy sighs as he looks down at the table. “At first he just threatened me, but when he realized that I don’t see much value in my own life he decided that he needed to get a hold of my family. He also knows Ada’s address; she’s only safe as long as he wants her to be.” He explains as he looks back up at me. “I fucked up, y/n, but he had me against the wall.” His voice breaks slightly.

I nod. “I probably don’t even want to know what kind of job you have to do?” I carefully ask as my eyes drift around the room to avoid eye-contact.

“Irish business. You don’t want to know.” Tommy simply says, his voice back to normal, and I nod in response; that’s all the information I need. “I can turn it around, but I have to go to London.”

“Go.” I say as I look at him again. “Just do whatever it is you have to do. John and I will take care of things back here.”

Tommy sighs as he stands up. “Thank you.” He says as he walks towards me and places a hand on my shoulder. “I might need John, though. Do you think you can handle it here on your own?”

I nod. “I’ll get Isaiah and Finn in to do some stuff and I’ll handle the rest; you don’t have to worry about that.” I tell him as look up at him. “Just be careful. You might not see value in your life, but there are people who do.” I plead as I fight back the tears. He nods and leans down to kiss the top of my head, a rare affectionate gesture, before he leaves the room.

* * *

 

After I took some time to get myself back together, I got Isaiah and some of the other men in to get back to business as usual. Finn was back too, he told us Polly went to the prison to see what she could do for Michael. It’s getting late and the men have gone home. Even Finn has decided that he had enough for today and retreated to his room. Isaiah and I are sitting in the shop.

“What a fucking mess.” Isaiah mutter as he stands up and walks away only to return with to glasses and a bottle of whiskey. “It’s a good thing we still have this.” He says as he pours our drinks.

“Thank you for helping out.” I say as I look up at him and take one of the glasses.

“Don’t mention it.” He says as he sits down again. “How are you holding up? You’ve always been a bit too involved with this family.”

“I’m hanging in there.” I give him a small smile. “Good to know there are still some people I can count on.” I add as I raise my glass towards Isaiah before I down it.

“You can always count on me.” Isaiah say as he leans forward in his chair and places a hand on my knee. “Don’t ever doubt that.” When I look at him again he’s intently staring at me. “I’m always here.” He mutters as he raises one of his hands to my face to move a strand of hair behind my ear.

“I know.” I whisper and I blush slightly when he cups my cheek. Our moment is interrupted when the phone rings. Isaiah groans as he lets himself fall back in his chair and I look at him for a moment before I clear my throat and pick up the phone. “Shelby Brother’s Limited; how can I help you?”


	15. Chapter 15

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay so there's a bit of a dilemma. As you will notice at the end of this chapter we have reached the end of season 2. Now my question for you is if I should continue at the start of season 3 or fill in the time between the seasons?

“Y/n?” The voice on the other side of the line says and I immediately recognize him.

“Michael.” I breath out as I feel some of the tension that built up during the day leave my shoulders just by knowing he’s out. “How did you get out?” I ask as I unconsciously turn away from Isaiah.

“Mom took care of it.” He says. His voice sounds cold and it’s almost like I can hear a hint of disgust. He clears his throat before he continues. “I was just wondering if there was still someone at the shop. Are you alone?”

“No, I’m-“ I cut myself off when I hear a door close and when I look around the room I see that Isaiah left. “Yeah, I’m alone.”

“Alright.” He seems unsure, probably because of my way of answering. “I’ll be there in a minute.” Michael adds before he hangs up.

I frown as I walk away from the desk with the phone on it. “Isaiah?” I call out once, just to be sure that he left. He was probably not happy that I didn’t even glance at him after I picked up the phone. I clean up the glasses and the bottle of whiskey, before rearranging the papers in such a way that the men can get straight to work tomorrow and sure enough Michael steps into the shop after about ten minutes.

I gasp when he steps into the light and I see the cuts and bruises he gained in prison. “Sit down; I’ll get some stuff to clean you up.” I tell him as I turn around to get some water and a cloth to clean his wounds. When I come back he’s sitting on the chair Isaiah was on not too long ago and he’s staring into nothing with an unreadable look on his face. “Michael?” I try to get his attention after I’ve put the bowl with water down. He hums and slowly turns his face towards me. “This might sting a bit.” I warn him before I get to work.

“Mom slept with Campbell to get me out.” He says when I’m almost done.

“What?” My eyes widen as one of my hands lingers on his face while the one with the cloth floats somewhere in between him and the bowl of water.

“That’s what the guards told me.” He sighs as he slightly leans into my touch. “They thought it was funny.” He adds. His voice sounds emotionless and when I look at his eyes they look hard and distant.

“Michael.” I whisper as I place the cloth on the table and cup his face. “Polly did what she believed she had to do.” I try to explain to him; he can’t start pulling away from us because of this. “She tried to convince Tommy to do something to get you out, but he had so much on his pate. Arthur’s in prison too, they’ve taken our warehouse, our vans, our clubs and whiskey. All because Tommy took a risk, but you need to understand that Polly didn’t see another solution, alright?” I finish as I rest my forehead on his. “She would have never done it if there was another way.” He doesn’t say anything but his eyes lock with mine and he reaches out to touch my cheek. We stay like that for a moment until he moves his hand to the back of my neck and pulls me into a kiss. His other hand moves to my side and he pulls me down onto his lap. I straddle his lap as his tongue slips into my mouth; he’s showing much more passion than he did with our first kiss. By the time we pull away we’re both out of breath and our hair is completely disheveled. “I’m sorry.” I mutter and when I see the confused look on his face I elaborate. “For the mess you got into by coming here and joining this family; this company.”

“None of that is your fault.” He assures me as he holds me close. I rest my head on his shoulder as we sit in silence for a while and for the first time in what feels like forever; I feel safe. All the tension seems to leave my body as I lean on him and that’s when I realize that I’ve made my choice. With Isaiah I’ll never be sure of what he’ll do; everything seems like a game to him, he likes to pick fights, he uses drugs and drinks a lot and I think a part of me has always been afraid that he might end up becoming like my father. I think that’s what kept me from committing to him. Michael has been straight with me from the start and even though that night at the Marquis is still lingering in the back of my mind, it feels different with him; it feels safe.

* * *

 

Derby Day; it usually brings excitement. For some people it does this year as well, but I’m anxious. Tommy called yesterday. He told me that whatever was going to happen, would happen on Derby Day.

“Hello.” Michael says as he picks up the phone; we’re the only two in the office. “No, I’m afraid mister Shelby is in London.” He says Tommy can’t be reached, because he’s at the Epson Derby and that he won’t be back today. When he hangs up Polly walks in and fixes his collar. He briefly glances at her and ignores her when she tells him she’s going to the station. He simply shares a look with me before he walks to his desk. Polly isn’t put off that easily and she follows him. Michael takes off his coat and sits down while she pulls bread out of her basket before revealing the rolls of money underneath.

This catches Michael’s attention and he sits up. “What’s that?”

“That money’s yours.” Polly says and she picks up one of the rolls and points it at him. “You and y/n take the money - I know you won’t leave without her - you get a train, you start a new life in London. I don’t want to see either of you here when I get back.” She tells him. “If I get back.” She adds. She tells him she wants him away from Birmingham and every awful thing that comes with it, that he can write her on Sundays and visit her on holidays. “I do love you Michael.”

“I love you too.” He answers and I see a glimpse of vulnerability on his face before he regains his posture. “You’ll miss your train.” He says and Polly gives both him and me one last look before she leaves. I watch Michael as he leans back in his chair and stares at the money. We sit in silence for about ten minutes before Michael’s gaze leaves the money and finds me. “What do you think?” He asks.

I straighten up in my chair. “Does it matter?” I ask in return. “It’s your money.”

“Yes.” He says as he sits up and puts his cigarette out. “But she’s right; I won’t go without you.” Michael tells me. “I’m serious about you y/n; I want to court you. I want you by my side.”

I sigh and lean back in my chair in order to organize my thoughts. If I’m completely honest with myself, it doesn’t take long to make up my mind. “The decision is yours, Michael.” I tell him. “Whether you’ll go or stay; you’ll have me.” I assure him.

A smile makes its way onto his face and he relaxes into his chair. “Come here.” He mutters as he holds out his hand. I stand up from my chair and make my way around my desk to his. Once I’m within reach I take his hand and let him pull me onto his lap. “I want you to be happy; you deserve to be happy after everything you’ve been through.” He says as he brushes a strand of her away from my face before he cups my cheek. “I want to be able to give you everything you need; everything you deserve.” Michael goes on as he strokes his thumb over my cheek.

“I don’t need much.” I let him know and for the first time I take the initiative to lean forward and kiss him. The kiss is once again completely different; our first one was slow and gentle, the second was deep and passionate and this one is filled with tender feelings that make my toes curl.

“But you deserve the world.” Michael mutters when we pull away. “And I want to give it to you, but both of the options on the table come with risks.”

“Just do whatever you think is best.” I say as I get a bit more comfortable in his lap. “I trust you.” I mutter as I lay my head on his shoulder. He wraps one of his arms around my waist to pull me a little closer as he rests the other one on my knee. I feel him press a kiss to the top of my head and I place on of my hands on his chest.

“I think we should stay.” Michael suddenly says. “We should stay and make money with the company and then once we’re engaged we’ll decide whether we want to move somewhere else or if we’ll stay here.” He explains his thoughts. “Is that alright for you? I’ll try to figure something out to get you away from your father without people accusing us of living together before marriage.”

“You don’t have to worry about that, Michael.” I tell him as I sit up to look at him. “I’ll be fine and if you want to stay; we’ll stay.”

“If I’m going to court you it means I’ll worry about you even more.” He mutters. “And I don’t doubt that you can handle it. I just don’t want you to have to handle something like that; I want you to feel safe.”

“You make me feel safe.” I admit and a small blush makes its way to my face once I realize how incredibly vulnerable everything I’ve told him today makes me.

He solemnly nods. “I’ll take care of you from now on.” He promises me before he presses a chaste kiss to my lips.

* * *

 

Michael and I wake with a start when Tommy kicks Michael’s desk. “Polly and I had a bet.” Tommy says as I stand up from Michael’s lap and I feel his hand on the small of my back as we follow Tommy into his office. “One of us bet you’d take the money and go. And one of us bet you’d still be here.” He says as he grabs three glasses and a bottle of whiskey. Michael removes his hand from my back to shove it into his pocket as he shares a look with me.

“She wants me to stay.” Michael says.

“You know something, Michael?” Tommy says as he makes his way to his desk. “What Polly wants will always be a mystery to me.” He answers his own question as he pours each of us a glass.

“We’ve decided.” Michael says and he gives me one more questioning look and waits for me to nod in confirmation before he leans on Tommy’s desk. “I’m serious about y/n and this family and I want to make real money, with you.” He tells Tommy, who raises his glass. He and Michael clink glassed before Tommy turns to me.

“So no Isaiah?” He asks as he holds up his glass to me.

“I’ve made my choice.” I raise my glass to meet his and we all take a sip before Tommy sits down.

“So have I.” He mutters. “I’ve got some ideas.” Tommy speaks up. “For the future of the company. And also; I’m planning on getting married.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay so there's a bit of a dilemma. As you will notice at the end of this chapter we have reached the end of season 2. Now my question for you is if I should continue at the start of season 3 or fill in the time between the seasons?


	16. Chapter 16

I’m glad I just swallowed the whiskey, because I would’ve spat it out. He’s getting married? To whom? “Married? To whom?” I ask as I place my glass on his desk.

“Grace.” He mutters and I tense up. This doesn’t go unnoticed by Michael, who furrows his eyebrows as he looks at me. “She married an American, but they came here for treatment. We met up and slept together and now she’s pregnant.” Tommy explains while he looks at the ceiling.

“She’s pregnant? And it’s yours?” I ask and he nods, but still won’t look at me. “And you just buy that? How do you even know it’s yours and not her husband’s?”

“They came here to get treatment, because they couldn’t have children. She slept with me with the idea that she was the one at fault, but now that she’s pregnant she knows he was the one at fault. So the child must be mine.” Tommy finally sits up to look at me. “And she told me she loves me.”

“And what about her husband?” Michael chimes in.

“That’s none of your-“ Tommy points at Michael and then at me. “or your business, alright? Now fuck off.” He says as he drops back into the chair. I look at Tommy for a moment before I turn around and walk to the door, where Michael is waiting for me.

“Care to tell me why you don’t like this woman?” Michael asks after he closes the door to Tommy’s office.

I sigh. “I will, but not now.” I answer him as I get my coat and put it on. “I’m going home to get changed and then I’ll be back to do some work. I doubt any of the men will be in; they’re probably all still in bed after yesterday.” I explain as I walk back to him and I lean up slightly to press a kiss to his cheek. “Just go see your mom and then we’ll meet back here this afternoon.”

Michael nods. “Alright.” He gives in and slightly smiles down at me before he walks to his own coat.

* * *

 

I pull my knees up to my chest as I sit on my bed. My father is pounding on my door and I pray that the lock will hold. My mind was all over the place; a mixture of Tommy’s wedding plans and Michael’s words about our possible engagement, which he has apparently thought about. Because of my clouded mind I didn’t think about my father being home and he caught me by surprise when he grabbed my hair and pulled me into the living-room. Asking me where I had been all night and accusing me of being a ‘Shelby-whore’. He got a few good hits in before I could knee him in his crotch and bolt up the stairs. I’m currently waiting for him to give up on getting in my room. I don’t think that going back to the office is a good idea considering the glimpse I saw of myself in the mirror before I crawled onto my bed. After another five minutes or so my father gives up and I hear him walk down the stairs and slam the front door closed behind him. I have no idea where he could be going, he usually sleeps during the day and doesn’t leave the house until late at night, but right now I welcome the peace. I wash myself and put on clean clothes. As I stand in front of the mirror I decide that I can go back into work anyway; he didn’t really hit my face this time. Most bruises are under my clothes and the one that is on my face is mostly covered by my hair. As long as I make sure that my hair stays in this place no one will notice. So I step out of the house and debate whether I should lock the door or not. My father probably hasn’t got a key on him and it’s not like there’s anything valuable inside, so I shrug and simply pull the door closed behind me before I make my way back to the office.

When I get there Michael isn’t in yet and I assume he’s still with Polly. I sit down to do some work and after about half an hour Michael walks in. He smiles at me as he hangs up his coat and stops by my desk to lightly kiss my cheek. “Did you get the papers from the shop yet?” He asks and when I shake my head he turns around to get them. I smile at him when he places them on my desk, but when I look up at him I see his eyebrows are furrowed. “Is everything alright?” He asks.

I sit up straight and reach for my hair to make sure it’s still covering the bruise, which it is. “Yeah, I’m fine. Why?” I try to play it off.

“That’s the first thing you’ve said since I came in.” He says as he leans on my desk. “Did something happen, or is it about Tommy getting married?”

“Right.” I breath out as Tommy’s upcoming marriage comes back into my mind. “I might as well tell you about Grace now.” I say and he walks around my desk to sit down on the edge at the same side where I’m sitting. I tell him about Grace being an agent who played Tommy and sold us out to the cops a few years ago. “I told him she was bad news, but he wouldn’t believe me. He was so blinded by how he felt about her that he didn’t see how everything was piling up.” I shake my head at the memories. “And now she’s back and she loves him; I hope for her sake that she means that because Polly will have her head if it’s not true.”

Michael nods. “Are you going to accept his decision?” He asks as he uncrosses his arms and locks his eyes with mine.

I shrug as I look away. “I don’t think I have much choice; if Tommy has made up his mind then it’s going to happen whether I want it or not.” I say. Michael hums and I flinch when I feel his hand brush a strand of hair away from my face. I try to cover it up with a cough and I quickly stand up.

Michael seems to have frozen; his hand is floating in the air and he’s giving me a weird look. “What’s wrong?” He asks as he pushes himself of the desk. He takes a step towards me but I quickly step away to walk around the desk. “Did I do something wrong?” He asks as he looks at me from the other side of the desk.

I shake my head and force a smile on my face. “No, no, I just remembered that I need to talk to Lizzie about something.” I rush out. “I’ll be right back.” I tell him before I quickly make my way into the direction of Lizzie’s workspace.

“Lizzie isn’t even in today, y/n.” Michael follows me. “What’s going on?”

I look around, but my shoulders drop when I realize there’s no way out of this and my eyes meet Michael’s worried ones. “It’s my father.” I whisper and I reach up to move my hair behind my ear.

Michael clenches his jaw and takes a few careful steps towards me as if he’s afraid I’ll back away from him again, but I stay put. Once he’s in front of me he reaches his hand up and brushes his fingers along the bruise, which causes me to flinch. “I’m sorry.” He mutters as he places his hand on the back of my neck and pulls me into his chest. His other arm wraps around my waist and I allow myself to relax against him. “You don’t have to hide this from me, y/n. You said you trusted me, right?” He asks, but he doesn’t let go of me so I nod against his chest. “Then please trust me with this as well.” He says and he now allows me enough room to move my head away from his chest and look at him. “I want us to be able to share everything, alright?” Michael rests his forehead on mine.

“I do trust you, Michael.” I assure him as I hold onto his suit jacket to keep him close to me. “I’m just not used to opening up about this to anyone. I even hide it from Tommy when it happens.”

“I’m not Tommy though.” Michael says as he cups my cheek with one of his hands. “And I don’t want you to treat me like you would treat him.” He adds before he leans down to peck my lips.

“For what it’s worth; I’d never do that with Tommy.” I say as a slight blush forms on my cheeks.

Michael chuckles. “I hope not.” He says before he leans down to properly kiss me this time.


	17. Chapter 17

“Oi!” John’s exclamation causes us to pull away from each other and I feel my cheeks heat up. “Do that in your own time will you.” John smirks and when I glance at Michael I see he’s staring at the floor. “If you hurt her in any way, I don’t care if you’re family or not; I’ll fucking cut you.” John says as he takes a hold of Michael’s shoulder, who looks up but the look on his face isn’t what I expected. I expected him to look flustered, maybe even a bit scared after John’s threat, but he looks determined.

“You don’t have to worry about that.” Michael tells John. “She’s been hurt enough. I would never forgive myself if I added to that.” He mumbles the last part and his eyes leave John and find me. “Are you sure you’re alright to work today?” Michael asks and John furrows his eyebrows at the question.

“I’m fine.” I assure him. “It’s not that bad and I’d rather spend the day here than go back home.” I add.

“Why wouldn’t you be alright?” John asks as he lets go of Michael and makes his way to me. “Did he hurt you again?” John places his hands on my shoulders and I nod. “Fucking bastard.” He mutters as he straightens up. “You keep an eye on her for the rest of the day.” He says as he points at Michael, who nods immediately. John then leans down to press a kiss to my forehead before he turns around and grabs the cap he discarded when he came in. “Arthur! Come on we’ve got to teach someone a lesson!”

My eyes widen as I watch him leave the room and it takes a minute before I’ve regained control over my body and follow him. “John! Arthur! Wait!” I shout as I run to the door and follow them outside. “You can’t just attack him!” I exclaim as I step outside, closely followed by Michael.

Once we’re outside I nearly run into Arthur who is stood still next to John in front of a car. Tommy is behind the wheel and Grace is sitting next to him. “Attack who?” Tommy asks as he steps out of the car and offers Grace his hand.

I take a small step back and I’m relieved when I feel Michael’s hand on my back. “My father.” I tell Tommy as I lean a bit closer to Michael.

“Look, I know we don’t usually hurt him, but the last time we saw him we warned him that if he ever hurt you again, we’d make sure he wouldn’t be able to walk to the pub anymore.” John says as he turns to me.

“He’s still my father, John.” I try, but the look on John’s face tells me that I’m wasting my time and I’m not sure I really want to stop him this time. There was something different this time; my father didn’t seem drunk like he usually is.

“John’s right, y/n.” Arthur speaks up for the first time. “He can’t keep getting away with this.” And then they’re off. I make one last attempt to follow them, but Michael wraps an arm around my waist to keep me in place and I don’t bother to fight him.

“Come on.” Tommy gestures to the door. “Inside, both of you.” He says and I let Michael lead me back into the office. Tommy and Grace follow us in and Tommy closes the door behind us. Tommy raises his eyebrows as he looks at me.

“What?” I ask as I straighten up to meet his eyes.

“There’s something you’re not saying.” Tommy states and when I don’t say anything he takes of his coat and cap and he pulls out a cigarette as he sits down on the edge of Michael’s desk. Michael and I are standing in front of my desk and Grace hasn’t moved from her spot by the door.

I sigh in defeat when I see that Tommy isn’t going anywhere. “I don’t think he was drunk this time.” I say as I cross my arms over my chest and look down at my feet. “He asked me where I was all night, which he has never done before. He’s usually too far gone to realize I’m not there and the last time I saw him awake and functioning during the day is years ago.”

Everyone is silent for a moment. “Did he say anything else?” Tommy asks eventually.

I take a deep breath. “He called me a Shelby whore.” I say and when I look up the look on Tommy’s face scares me a little.

“Then he deserves whatever John and Arthur are doing to him.” Tommy says. “You’re not going back there tonight. I’m sure you can stay at Poll’s. You can drive her right?” He asks Michael, who immediately nods. “Good. Oh, and Grace this is Michael; Polly’s son. Michael this is Grace.”

“It’s lovely to meet you.” Grace gives Michael a soft smile, which he returns.

“Nice to meet you too.” He says.

“And good to see you again, y/n.” Grace looks at me.

“Yeah.” I breath out. “You too.”

* * *

 

Michael and I went back to work, but I couldn’t stop myself from glancing to the door every now and then to see if John and Arthur would come back. When they finally do I stop what I’m doing and hold my breath as John approaches me, Arthur following close behind. Michael stops working as well and keeps a close eye on us from behind his desk.

“We couldn’t find him.” Arthur grumbles. “Looked all over town, but there was no trace of him.” He adds as he leans against the wall and pulls a flask out of his jacket.

“We spoke to Tommy.” John says as he crouches down next to my chair. “You need to get away from him, y/n. I know he’s your father, but if he starts to hurt you when he’s sober as well; he’s not worth looking after.” He takes my hand in his and gives it an assuring squeeze.

“He can’t die, John.” I tell him.

“He deserves it though.” Arthur speaks up. He’s been getting worse and worse lately and I doubt he will get a hold of himself anytime soon. He’s been drinking more and using too much cocaine. The old Arthur never would have suggested something like that.

“Not yet.” I mutter as I pull my hand away from John’s and pick up a cigarette. I catch Michael’s eyes when I light it, his eyebrows are furrowed.

“We can figure something out.” Michael says. “I’m sure mom would let you stay at ours.” He adds and I hear the door to Tommy’s office open.

“I’ve thought about it, you know.” I mutter, ignoring what Michael said as I take a drag from my cigarette.

“About what?” Tommy asks as he steps into the room.

I look up at him. “About what would happen if my father died.” I say before I turn my face to blow out the smoke. “And I’ve come to the conclusion that he needs to stay alive until I’m eighteen. If he dies before my birthday I can’t stay in Birmingham alone and the police will send me to family.” I explain. “The only family I have left is an uncle up in Liverpool. We visited him once when I was younger. He was a mess back then; yelling at his wife and kids, getting everyone else to do his work and I doubt he got any better.” I say as I meet Tommy’s eyes again.

He nods. “So we need to keep him alive for a few more months.” He states as he pulls out a cigarette and lights it. “We can make sure he stays alive until then, but you won’t be going back there.”


	18. Chapter 18

I wake up with a sigh. The bed in Polly’s house is more comfortable than any other bed I’ve ever slept in. I really don’t want to get up, but I know I should go to work. When I glance at the clock I shoot up in bed; I’m really late. I get out of bed and quickly get ready.

Downstairs I find Polly with a cup of tea. She looks up when she hears me come in and smiles as she gets up to get another cup. “Good morning, Y/N.” She says as she gestures for me to take a seat and pours me some tea. “Did you sleep well?”

“Yes, thank you.” I nod and glance at the clock behind her. “I’m sorry I got up so late. I’ll get to the shop as soon as possible and I can stay a little later tonight.” I let her know and I wrap my hands around the cup to take in the comforting warmth.

Polly looks hesitant for a moment, but then sits back down across from me. “You’re not going in to work today, Y/N.” She tells me as she folds her hands in her lap. “Michael said he’ll finish your work as well. He thought you deserved some rest.” Polly explains.

I nod slowly. All I really do is work, take care of my father and spend time with the guys, but it looks like all those options are off the table today.

“He really cares about you.” Polly has a soft smile on her face. “The way he talks about you and looks at you. You’ll be an official part of this family soon enough.” She goes on as she fondly gazes at me. “Then I’ll have a daughter after all.” Her eyes are a little teary and I’m not sure what to say, so I just place my hand on hers and give it a gentle squeeze.

Polly and I spend the day doing household chores and some handwork, while we basically wait for Michael to come home. It has given me a lot of time to think and I’m starting to work myself up more as time goes by. I wonder if Michael expects it to be like this for the rest of our lives; him working while I wait for him like a good housewife. I sincerely hope he doesn’t, because I will not be spending my days waiting for him to come home while I do nothing. I like to work and will not stop working because I found a guy.

* * *

 

When Michael comes home, Polly smiles as she stands up to greet him before she excuses herself to check on dinner. I know it’s an excuse; she has a maid after all. “How are you?” Michael asks as he walks into the room and sits down next to me. There’s a frown on his face and his concern for me changes my mood slightly.

“Bored.” I tell him and he chuckles slightly. “I don’t think being a housewife is in my future.” I add as I look at him. Some of the tension has left his face now that he sees I’m alright. I hope he understands that my comment was serious. “So, I hope that’s not what you’re looking for.” I try to sound confident, but it comes out a little unsure.

“As much as I would love to come home every day to you waiting for me with dinner on the table.” He smiles slightly. “It would be a waste of talent to keep you at home all day.” The smile lingers on his lips, but I can tell that he’s serious. “I don’t expect you to sit home and do nothing all day, Y/N. If you want to keep working after we get married, I’ll support you in that.” There’s a solemn look on his face as he takes one of my hands in his.

I blush slightly under his intense gaze and mull his words over in my head. This is the second time he has mentioned us being together for the long run, and it makes me both anxious and excited. “Good.” I whisper as I give his hand a small squeeze.

* * *

 

The next day is Sunday and after joining Polly to church, Michael shows me the garden. My arm is linked through his as he walks me along the flowers to a small bench under a tree in the back. I can feel Michael’s eyes on me, so I turn my head to look at him. “What?” I ask.

“Nothing.” He mutters as he shakes his head. “You’re just really beautiful.” He adds softly as he presses a kiss to my cheek. I blush slightly and since I’m not sure how to respond to that, I simply stay quiet. We sit in silence for a while; Michael’s arm wrapped around my shoulder as I lean into his side.

Our peaceful moment is broken by Polly, who angrily marches into the garden after a while. She went to see Tommy to ask him why Grace had been around, and I assume he told her about his plan to marry Grace. “He is a bloody idiot if he thinks she won’t screw him over again?!” She exclaims as she stops in front of us. “And we’re just supposed to sit back and accept it? Unbelievable.” She mutters the last word before her eyes shoot up to meet mine. “You don’t support this, do you?!” She asks in disgust.

“Doesn’t matter what I think.” I shrug as I look around the garden. “He just going to do what he wants to do, Polly.” I sighs as I look at her again. “Nothing we say will change his mind.” I’ve made my peace with it. Tommy will do whatever he wants and I’m not going to make my own life more difficult by trying to persuade him to do otherwise. “Maybe she does actually love him.” I offer.

Polly scoffs. “I highly doubt that.”


End file.
